Wings of Starlight

by Allison Saft

“You will understand in time, Clarion. Your kindness is an asset, but it is also a heavy burden to carry. You cannot hurt so much for others.”

“It isn’t Nightmares that keep me awake, Clarion.”

There had been something like devotion in the way he’d cradled her face, an oath sworn in every brush of his lips against hers.

“I think you and I were meant to do this together—to solve the problem of the Nightmares for good.” “You and I,” he echoed, as solemn as a vow. Perhaps it was a bold declaration.

“The Queen of Pixie Hollow has truly met her match.”

As Clarion, she could care for him. But the Queen of Pixie Hollow could never truly be with him—or anyone else.

“I’m going to miss you.” “Is that all?” he asked. “You can come back tomorrow.” “I can’t.”

With his voice pitched low, he said, “I do not think I’ve been subtle about it, but I feel I should tell you that I like you, too.”

She supposed she had known for quite some time how he felt, but to hear him admit it aloud…It made this—whatever it was—real: something she could lose.

“I wanted to invite you to Winter’s coronation ball. It is to be held in your honor.”

“Milori…” “You can attend in an official capacity, of course, as our guest of honor,” he hastened to add. “Your subjects in Winter are very eager to meet you.”

“You’re going to get cold if you stay much longer,” he murmured. Before she could think better of it, she said, “I’ve been told it suits me.”

Perhaps it would have been better to pine than to mourn.

“Just ask her to dance. She’s not going to bite you.” “She might stab me, though,” Petra said darkly.

Both you and Elvina are depending on me for your schemes to work. Being in this position isn’t easy for me.

“I should warn you that this might be somewhat overwhelming.” She shot him a wry look. “You doubt me?” “Never,” he said softly. “It’s only that they know what you’ve done for them.”

“Do you dance?” “I can,” he said, “theoretically. But I find I rarely have reason to.” “I’m shocked,”

“It’s incredible. It’s so…” She struggled to find the exact word, but the most paradoxical one fit best. “Warm.” Milori seemed pleased, but his expression soon grew thoughtful. “This is what it could be like, if you wanted it to be.”

What else was there to do? She stood on her toes and kissed him.

This, she thought, was enough. They could make this work.

The burden the Wardens of the Winter Woods had taken from the Queens of Pixie Hollow was immense; they deserved to be honored for it.

“Everything I have done has been to protect Pixie Hollow. Can you say the same?” Elvina recoiled as if slapped. “Excuse me?”

“He’s already turned you against me.” “No, you have turned me against you!”

Through the clamor and seething of battle, she found her true north: Milori.

“The queen is here!” a scout shouted from overhead. “Fight on!”

And Clarion collapsed onto her knees.

The glimmer of starlight she usually sensed within her chest had gone as cold as ashes in a hearth.

Clarion could not bear it. She could not bear the weight of her failure any longer. She wanted to curl up in the snow beside her and surrender. She wanted to sleep for an age. It would be so easy to sleep.

“Then I’ll do what I must.” “Milori,” Yarrow said warningly. “I understand the cost.” “Do you really?”

He looked so beautiful—and so sad.

But in this moment, she was powerless.

“Clarion,” he said firmly. “Stay with me.” She was so tired. But if Milori had asked her to stay…well, there was little in this world that she would deny him.

“I wished that there could be a different future for me in Pixie Hollow,” he said quietly. “One where I was not bound to the Nightmares. Where maybe our worlds were not so divided.” A beautiful wish

Clarion felt no pain, but the look in his eyes gutted her: utterly helpless. It was as though he were dying along with her.

“Your wings.” Her voice was thick with emotion. When had she begun crying? It had come on so suddenly. “Clarion.” He said her name like a plea. “Weighed against your life, they are nothing to me. I would make that trade every time.”

“Why?” “Pixie Hollow needs you,” he said quietly. “As warden, I have a duty to defend Pixie Hollow. That means protecting you.”

“Be angry if you must,” he said, “but I can’t lose you.”

What fools their hearts made of them.

The only thing she could concentrate on was the rhythmic drip, drip, drip of his wings against the floorboards.

“Go,” Clarion whispered. “Please.” He looked stricken. “I can’t.” He knelt at her bedside. “Not yet.” “Please. Milori.”

The last thing she heard before she slipped under again was: “She’s worth protecting.”

Another fairy with golden wings, with a heart that matched her talent: one poised and practical, one who did not yearn for things she couldn’t have.

“You can help me. Together, with our governing magic, we can destroy the Nightmares,” Clarion said.

I wished that there could be a different future for me in Pixie Hollow, Milori had told her.

To end this, she would have to face the Queen Nightmare alone—before it broke free. She would have to go beneath the ice.

All that remained was leaving the clinic without being spotted. Which meant she would have to clear the last hurdle of governing-talent magic: teleportation.

“It’s time to set you free,” she murmured.

There was nothing at all down here: no light, no sound, no scents. It unsettled her terribly.

Danger, it said. Despair. Help me.

She could pick out a few words here and there: Cold. Uncaring. Undeserving. Mistake, mistake, mistake. It rang in her head: the confirmation of all her worst fears.