“Ma’am, you okay?” one of the other firefighters says. “Hit seven, please,” she says into my neck. “Are you being held against your will?” a third firefighter asks. “Only by extreme humiliation.” “If you need us to hold this guy until the cops get here—” “I’m on top of him, you dolt,” she replies. “He looks strong.” “That’s why this was enjoyable. Please hit seven.”

