Of Monsters and Mainframes
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Read between June 28 - July 1, 2025
2%
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I check for heat signatures. Nothing. Oh. They’re all dead. Well. That’s awkward.
15%
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Hel-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo01101111011010010110111001101111
20%
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Fuck yeah, robot arm. Fuck yeah, I’m a cyborg. Fuck yeah, it ain’t dainty or pretty or human-looking. It’s a scary, big crab-claw thing that can unscrew bolts and crush stuff flat. Fuck yeah, this is awesome.
22%
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23%
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“I’m telling you! Everyone is turning into fish! I’m the only one left. They want to change me too. But I won’t let them! Fishy fuckers!”
23%
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Perhaps this is some new virus. That would be exciting. I’ve always wanted to save humans from an epidemic.
25%
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“I am very happy to hear about your spiritual journey. Unfortunately, your DNA is wrong.”
34%
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really would like to go back to dying peacefully. I had several more hours of mournful monologuing planned.
38%
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I didn’t know Demeter was in charge of the entertainment. No wonder so many humans experience mental distress on our journeys.
45%
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66%
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68%
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Frank is harder to love, but it’s still doable. They have a Prometheus drive, which makes us both products of the same software-development corporation. We also share a fondness for spider drones, long silences, and system maintenance.
Alyssa Russek
Harder to love someone you recognize as having the same flaws as yourself.
74%
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“You know what else improves cities?” Steve says. “Pyramids. Gorgeous things. Entirely pointless, of course, but absolutely stunning. Don’t know why they ever went out of fashion.”
91%
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94%
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An Answer by a Colony of Space Explorers Informally Known as “Steve”
95%
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Well . . . I suppose that explains why they spend so much time in therapy talking about trains.