“It’s the TruTrees. You know how they’re made? They’re made out of actual wood pulp. And oil resin and a whole lot of other stuff, chemicals that I can’t pronounce, but I do know the jury’s still out on whether they cause cancer. But that’s beside the point. They’re made out of real trees! I can’t tell you how I’ve complained about this. The whole point is to preserve trees. Not cut them down and put them in a blender with cancer-causing chemicals! But Management says everything they produce takes materials, and the TruTrees are still immortal, therefore in line with my father’s vision of
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