Wild and Wrangled (Rebel Blue Ranch, #4)

by Lyla Sage

I’d know that voice anywhere. If I had slipped into a coma, it would wake me up. If I was six feet under, I’d dig myself out of the grave just to be closer to it, which was dramatic and startling and tragic and stupid.

I’ll love you until we’re dust in the wind, Camille Ashwood.

“Take me somewhere.”

I know.

The Ryders had never been anything but kind and loving to me, but sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder if they would have shown me love like this if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. I was a necessary part of their family because I was Riley’s mom, but would they have ever really wanted me on my own?

Dusty was my first everything, but not in just a first love way. He was my first real friend. He was the first person who cared enough to get to know me, who peeled back the layers I had drawn around myself and liked what they saw. He made me want to like myself, too.

Dusty kissed me again—he didn’t care that my mom was watching. “I’ll get you out of here someday, I promise.”

It didn’t matter who you were, when you walked into the Big House, it felt like home—whether

“It hasn’t moved from this spot for nearly forty years. When we first saw it, both Stella and I thought that we’d never be able to fill it with people—it was so big, and at that time, it was just the two of us.” “So, today, when I look around and see this full table”—Amos

it makes this old man’s heart feel damn close to bursting. Stella taught me that the family you choose is just as important—sometimes more—than the one you’re born with. Everyone here is part of that family that Stella and I dreamed about.”

It was full of folded notes. Everything was folded in a triangle—the same way Dusty used to fold notes when he passed them to me in class. Some looked older than others—more worn, but every one that I could see had something in common—my name scrawled across the front.

“Why is my name on them?” “Why do you think?”

“Ash, even after everything went sideways, I didn’t stop wanting to be with you. I didn’t stop missing you. Adjusting to a world without you in it sucked,”

“Because they’re all I had left of you.”

“Does this make it better or worse?”

“Worse,”

“And if…I kissed you r...

“Worse,”

“but do it anyway.”

“Mom takes me to the coffee shop after lessons. You could probably come if you want. She likes you.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about kissing you,”

“I think about it all the time, actually. I think there’s something wrong with me. “I think about you when I wake up and when I go to sleep. During the day, you just stand at the front of my brain, and I can’t shake it. When I’m with you, I don’t want it to end, and when I’m not, I just want to see you again. “Is it stupid for me to write this in a note that I’m going to give you in English class? Probably. But I like writing to you. I like that these are just ours…well,

“I can’t say for sure, but I think I’m in love with you.”

“I’m going to kiss you now,”

Dusty just made me brave, I guess.

I think my parents saw it, though. I think that’s why they always let Cam stay for dinner and put her report cards on the fridge. I think that’s why my dad taught her to change a flat tire and why my mom went to her soccer games.

m tired.” Riley lifted her small shoulders in a shrug. “Can you come get me a Fruit Roll-Up?” “Yeah,

wondered if I would like kissing as much as I did if I wasn’t kissing Dusty.

“I’ll love you until we’re dust, Camille Ashwood.”

He always seemed to show up right when I needed him.

“You’re beautiful,”

“So fucking beautiful.”

“No. You’re a privilege, Cam. Being in your presence is a goddamn honor.”

“Ash, I tried friends. I really did. But friends don’t feel the way I do about you,”

“Or the way you feel about me.”

“I’ve waited half a lifetime fo...

“And I would wait a whole one if I thought I had to, but here we are. Together. No distance, no timing, no ri...

and then he kissed me, like really kissed me.

“What do you want me to be?” “I don’t know,”

“I don’t believe you,”

“Try again.”

“Everything,”

“I want you to be everything.”

“I’m ready for that,”

“Are you?” “No,”

“But I think—I think I’m gett...

“I want to spend all night worshipping your body—learning all of the things I don’t know about it and remembering all of the things that I do.”

“Like I said, I’ve always been able to see my life with or without them, but even though I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to see my life without you.”

“I’m not supposed to say things like that, but, Ash, you’re fucking insane if you think I’m ever going to let you go again.”

“So if everything about you and Dusty is starting to feel bigger, maybe that’s because it is. It’s not just about your history anymore because you’ve started to build on and around it. Your history is still part of this picture, but it’s less important than where you are now. There’s a reason that rearview mirrors are small and windshields are big.”