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“Ash?” a voice said. I straightened my spine. I’d know that voice anywhere. If I had slipped into a coma, it would wake me up. If I was six feet under, I’d dig myself out of the grave just to be closer to it, which was dramatic and startling and tragic and stupid.
She broke my heart a million times after that, too, and time never did what it was supposed to do: heal or whatever.
When it came to Dusty, I understood what people meant when they said the more things change, the more they stay the same.
My feelings for Cam were like an earthquake and its aftershocks. When they started, they were big and overwhelming, and once the main event had passed—once we’d gone our separate ways—I’d learned to live with the way they still shook me up at unexpected times.
I’d never really wanted for anything that could be bought, which I was grateful for, but I wanted plenty for the stuff that couldn’t.
Then she turned toward me and gave me a smile that could thaw a windshield on a winter day.
Dusty kissed me again—he didn’t care that my mom was watching. “I’ll get you out of here someday, I promise.”
Dusty wasn’t the only man I’d ever loved, but I had to admit that he was the one that I compared every other love to.
Dusty put a hand on my cheek and looked straight into my soul. “I’ll love you until we’re dust, Camille Ashwood.”
“No. You’re a privilege, Cam. Being in your presence is a goddamn honor.”
“I’ve waited half a lifetime for you, Cam.”
Because loving you is the bravest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m not brave anymore.
“Like I said, I’ve always been able to see my life with or without them, but even though I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to see my life without you.”
There’s a reason that rearview mirrors are small and windshields are big.”
“And I know it’s different, but if I had a second chance to be with the person who felt like the sun and rain and air and everything, I would take it without another thought.”
I just wanted to exist in her orbit.
Today was the first day that I existed in a world without Renny Tucker, which was enough to make me want to lie on the floor and not get
For the second time in my life, I fell into Dusty—I let him sweep me away, and I had no regrets about it.
He’s loyal and kind, and he’s been looking at you the same way for fifteen years—like he would do anything for you.
Cam taught me what it was like to love and be loved. I took that with me around the world. I built upon it and every type of love I’d felt was compared to it, and nothing had ever come close—it was always her. It was always going to be her.
There is a time to let things go, but you also have to know when to hold on to something tightly. There’s value in clinging to it and not letting it get away from you. The bravest thing you can do when you love someone is work hard to keep them—to hold on to them with everything you’ve got—and even when you loosen your grip, you don’t let go.”
But, god, you are everything to me. You always have been, you always will be.
“I love you madly and deeply. I love you in ways that people don’t believe exist in real life.
