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who doesn’t have internet or reliable transport to the local library,
Damn... that's so depressing
what would we do without our faithful Parking Lot Attendants? But I just wish it didn’t have to be me.
Living wage! Living Wage!
I had no option but to stay with him because there wasn’t a dollar to my name, and a huge gap in employment marked my already unimpressive resume.
yikes :(
He beat the shit out of Darrell once he showed up.
Fuck yeah go uncle gary!!!
a few more times until I finally believe it’s real. I sure as shit don’t know what a parish is and
Girl what
“Oh, where is my hairbrush!”
OH.MY.GAWD
“I doubt anyone will notice once they hear my sermon.”
At this point i can only read their lines in the OG bob and larry voices what have i gotten my self into
Laurent quiets next to me, and his hand rubs against mine, lazily brushing tender touches against my fingers.
:o
I never enjoyed my romantic relationships with women—however
This tomato i mean man is GAY right!?
God tests his strongest soldiers,
Yes as the youngins like to say "God gives the biggest bullshit to his toughest bitches"
but the air was thick with something you can’t name. My
Lust its thiccc with lust
as his hands hid under his blankets moving up and down. His
See told ya
hazel eyes,
They should be green.
My God is bigger than the Boogeyman
Jfc
I want to let you know I’m open to whatever life you have for me.” A horrible thought pops into my head. “On second thought, I really don’t want to be a nun. Don’t get me wrong, the outfits are sick, and I’m totally down with the eternal female friendship bit. I just need a little dick every now and then. You understand, right?”
Hollie coded
green cucumber juts from where Father Laurent's cock should be.
Ok now im actually laughing out loud
having fucked up thoughts about my employers? I guess technically, God’s my employer?
Gurl what
already have enough issues with my actual father.”
Oooo a daddy issue trope how unique
fruits
Homophobic
I glance over to see the tomato she’s holding. As I look at the round, firm vegetable, something in me pings. That’s not a tomato at all. That’s Robert. I could recognize him in any form.
True love
Do priests get therapy? Definitely not.
They should!
Maybe God isn’t sinister; maybe he’s giving me exactly what I want, except as a cucumber. Weird, but God is known for doing some weird shit.
Bruh. No.
mutilating vegetables. I somehow made them burst and had to clean cucumber and tomato gunk from my crotch.
Yeast infection ew
most definitely contracted a yeast infection.
Told u
wasn’t hired to masturbate and sleep the day away.
A girl can dream
He’s a priest—a human with flesh and blood. He’s disobeying God—breaking his vows, all to place his lips on mine. My stomach flutters at the thought.
Okaaayyyyy.... Im kinda getting the priest kink thing
“Pounding you as produce
I love when they say the titlevin the story
I didn’t want to fuck a man in a rubber ducky sweater.
Hmm differenr strokes for different folks i guess
wouldn’t he clarify what is truly evil and what isn’t?
If only there was a list of like 10 things you should not do...
I’m left alone,
No after care... This poor woman.. I cant even imagine the crash after all that
Nobody turned into a vegetable, but this is much, much worse.
Oh fuckkkk
The feelings I feared would live and die with you multiplied, and I could see my soul in her eyes.
Aweee im gonna cry i miss sam and ry
He straightens himself and walks past me. “Robert, I love you,” I yell, and he stops at the door. “Don’t do this to me. I love you. I will love you no matter what form you take. Man, priest, tomato, even in death, my heart will beat for you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He clenches his jaw, tears forming in his eyes, but he won’t look at me. “You'll move past this. It’s for the best.” And with that, he’s gone.
Dude FUCK robert what a dick
She sighs, her rosy disposition shifting. “You three are destined for each other, cut from the same cloth. The universe wants you three together, and
I miss my throuple... It really does feel like destiny
None of this makes sense, but what did I expect? Physics? I’ve been having sex with vegetables. Nothing is normal or linear about this situation.
Honestly love the persistant reminders that this is a silly smut book about veggies and to stop looking for logic
“Hm, I didn’t really peg Catholics for their open-mindedness.” She shoots me a look. “Really? The two priests you’re fucking seem pretty open-minded.”
Lol my thought verbatim
We’ve already discovered our love for role-play. I’ve dressed up as a cowboy, a pirate, and my fuzzy rubber ducky sweater has even made some special appearances.
Bro what lol
I’m ready to go for round two, but then I remember our perfect little angel who just graciously took both of our cocks and needs some aftercare.
FINALY JFC
