Pounded by Produce

by G.M. Fairy

“Oh, where is my hairbrush!”

Iykyk

We’ve never been afraid to touch each other in a friendly manner—rubbing shoulders, fake sincere kisses on the head, arms intertwined, normal bloke exchanges.

Normal heterosexual behavior 🤣🤣🤣

A fucking cucumber. I’m a cucumber.

🥒

It looks like a goddamn tomato, but as much as I can tell I’m a cucumber, I can tell that tomato is Robert.

Is she always so attracted to cucumbers?

God do I fucking love being a cucumber.

Alone with two of the sexiest vegetables in the world.

“You can vibrate, too? Sorry, boys. This isn’t going to last long.”

Vibrating vegetables?!

“Everybody wants a water buffalo. Yours is mean, but mine is a kind fellow. Oh, where would you find one? I don't know, but everybody wants a water buffalo.”

Absolutely iconic.

We love a self aware queen

“Pounding you as produce

Sneaky title drop

You’re like a spider monkey.”

Love me a twilight reference

Man, priest, tomato, even in death, my heart will beat for you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

🧍‍♂️ ⛪️ 🍅

“From what I saw, it was pretty hot. If I were you, I’d be in love, too.”

Yes Gail!!! We love an understanding queen!👸

I’ve dressed up as a cowboy, a pirate, and my fuzzy rubber ducky sweater has even made some special appearances.

I see you veggie tales

“You both are the ones that wanted to open a cucumber and tomato farm.”