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Did he say Gabriel Sinclair?
Gabriel Sinclair. The Gabriel Sinclair. My Gabriel Sinclair.
Just then, a beautiful woman with red hair walked over and stood extremely close to Gabriel.
I was going to be sick. Who was that? Were they in love? Did he love her?
Gabriel was named after his father, and his middle name, Ayodele, was a Yoruba name that meant “joy has come home.”
Joy has come home.
I went to hold him because he had no one to hold him through the sad part. Everyone should have somebody to hold them during the sad parts. As I listened to him cry, I started to cry, too.
Before that, I didn’t know my tears could match another’s.
I didn’t understand death. How could it be so cruel?
Maybe that’s what death did to the people who were still stuck being alive—changed them forever.
How could he do that? How could he die?
She hugged me. Then, I did something I didn’t expect to do. I hugged her back.
didn’t understand why, but something about Kierra’s hugs made me feel safe.
I hadn’t known I felt unsafe until her arms wrapped around me, just like when we were in the...
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But when Kierra hugged me, I felt like I could breathe again. It was like her hugs reminded m...
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As long as she’d hold me, I wanted to hold her back.
Toad.”
My Gabriel. My once-upon-a-time Gabriel, that was.
His smiles felt like stable, expected love—so sure and effortless.
Who did he share that joy with? Who currently received the ghost of my past love?
“Good for you, Kierra. You deserve that.”
hearing my name roll off his tongue made me want to cry.
Are you currently in love with someone? Who last broke your heart? Do you still brush your teeth with your nondominant hand? Did your mother open her
bakery? Do you still think you dream in color? What’s your favorite dinner spot nowadays? Do you have any pets? Do you still play baseball for fun? What’s your best memory from the past twenty years? How do you deal with failure? When was the last time you cried? Do you remember anything from your past? Did any memories come back? How much did it hurt to learn about Elijah’s passing? Is your heart okay? Has it healed? Do you remember me somewhere in your subconscious? Even small, minuscule details of us? Are there fragments of me lingering within your thoughts? When you look
at me now, does your heart unwaveringly sk...
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“Do we…” His voice faltered. He shook his head slightly. “Do we—”
She was in love with him.
“This is going to sound crazy, but I swear I’ve seen you before?”
How many times? Have we bumped shoulders before? Has his arm grazed mine? How many months have we been in the same room, breathing the same air? How have I not noticed him?
I can’t believe that for months I may have been so close to him, but still so far away.