Bottom of the Pyramid: A Memoir of Persevering, Dancing for Myself, and Starring in My Own Life

by Nia Sioux

People are quick to criticize that I was a beat behind here or there, but to them I say: How would you feel in my shoes, knowing there was a dragon breathing down your neck, ready to criticize any imperfection? Would you dance your best?

Abby seemed to think that she was “rescuing” me from the systems of oppression, when she was the one building the walls by scaffolding a series of lies, deceit, and innuendo.

I couldn’t help but wish, though, that rather than teaching us how to cope, the show had put their energy into teaching Abby how to be a better person. Making excuses for someone’s poor behavior only enables them to continue their wrongdoing.

told them I would love to incorporate a saying my mom and Nana would always tell me: “Star in your own life.” Since I was consistently at the bottom of the pyramid, fading into the background, this saying helped remind me that no one else got to be the lead in my story. Only I got that privilege.

People still place my accomplishments against that of my castmates all these years later. But I’ve learned there is no race to success. I am not gauging the value of my achievements based on anyone else’s.

Being the only Black girl on the team for most of Dance Moms was challenging. My mom and I dealt with microaggressions and racism daily. It felt like the producers and Abby needled Mom in a lot of different ways to try to bait her into behaving like the trope of the angry Black woman, but my mom wouldn’t succumb to their agenda. She wasn’t interested in playing a character—she just wanted to be herself.

The pressure to rise above this was a lot for a nine-year-old, but that’s part of life for a Black woman.

I needed to be surrounded by people who did not use the show to define me. That was the only way I could grow, mature, and develop into my full potential.

see my joy as an act of resistance. It was the one thing Abby could never control, and that seemed to infuriate her.

Hard work doesn’t always result in an instant win. Sometimes it takes a while, and usually, it takes a lot of soul-searching. But you are worth it. I am worth it. I have a résumé that’s full of amazing experiences. I have a degree on my wall and a book that I wrote. I have a family who loves and supports me, no matter what. I have great friends.