Unlikely Story

by Ali Rosen

withhold. You may be reaching the inevitable end of a relationship, and you don’t want it to hurt more; you may not want it to end, and you’re withholding a secret that would upend everything; or you’ve grown so distant that the idea of withholding is simply second nature. But as an individual, it’s just a waste of your own time to keep things from your therapist.

Vulnerability is the antidote to loneliness.

perhaps trying harder wouldn’t have solved the core issue, that neither of us ever really let the other one in.

Being able to build a life where I get to introvert alone is one of the greatest advantages to aging.

few things irk me like someone who has the privilege to react without thinking.

It’s exhausting but deeply satisfying. That’s what my job is—little sweeps at the pebbles in our way, until one day, hopefully, the path is clear enough that we can walk without stumbling.

I also have always loved the word “tartle”—it’s esoteric and Scottish and describes when someone hesitates in an introduction because they’ve forgotten the other person’s name.

context is often our reality when we meet someone—we’re not free when we’re introduced to a new person. We’re slotting them into some role—employee, friend, first date, man in therapy who doesn’t want to be there. We see someone a certain way based on how they’re projecting themselves onto that role. It’s so rare when we just get to be wholly ourselves.

The permission to stop and rest is probably not something he gives himself often.

“I guess you have to be spiky if you’re the only one standing at the front line.”

I should’ve known he was a person who wasn’t forthright in his everyday life. Especially since I’m exactly the same. I’m one version of myself to acquaintances, a less inhibited version with my closest friends, and another slightly different version with my family. Are any of those versions of me untrue? Or are they just different shades of the same thing, some holding more honesty than others?

“You can’t take care of everyone and then refuse to let others take care of you.

“And you can bother us!” Tom interjects. “It’s okay to bother your friends. That’s kind of the whole point!”

I’m so loaded up with other people’s nonsense, but no one is taking my loads off.

Carl Rogers and the idea of self-concept. Who we imagine we are creates a kind of feedback loop into how we see ourselves, and that then influences who we actually are.”

perfect acceptance is impossible to maintain when faced with actual humanity.”

‘Neurosis is just a high-class word for whining.’”

It’s daunting to upset your status quo.

There’s something comforting about having this motley crew checking in on me. We’re all certainly bumbling, but we’re bumbling together.

Each of us is a hundred different versions of ourselves with different people, and they all converge into a single flawed human.

I’ve stopped always trying to solve everyone else’s life and have started enjoying my own.