Unlikely Story

by Ali Rosen

For most adults, when you don’t talk about your feelings a lot, the vocabulary for it atrophies. When we’re kids, we’re taught to identify our emotions. We use color charts or characters or affirmations to help us go from useless blobs to fully formed people. We learn how to say “I feel blank when you blank. I want blank.” We work on expressing ourselves without throwing tantrums. But then as adults we get better at camouflage. We learn how to redirect so we don’t have to always feel so deeply. We comport ourselves so we can live in a world of adult feelings and expectations.

We don’t need to get everything from one person, but a true partnership shouldn’t ever feel lonely because you should naturally be yourself in it. Vulnerability is the antidote to loneliness. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, there’s some part of you that’s holding back. So my advice was to either try to open up to the partner or—if that feels impossible—to let the relationship go.”

Just because stasis is the path of least resistance doesn’t mean it’s the right choice.

‘Neurosis is just a high-class word for whining.’”