The Deviled Egg Made Me Do It

by Holly Wilde

So why is there one giant shell, the size of a dinner plate, sitting in my sink?

I only get a brief glimpse of what he’s packing before the egghood is stowed away behind his hard exterior.

“Damn, girl! Your ass is so fine it jiggles even more than that weird jelly thing your aunt brings to holiday meals.”

“Damien the Devil Egg,”

“It’s hard to tell through those jeans, but I’m pretty sure that juicy fruit is hiding something up there.”

In reality, his kiss is warm and salty, like creamy fresh mozzarella.

My mind eagerly slips into thoughts of what his cum will taste like as it dribbles down my chin. I hope that all of him is this creamy and delectable.

he pulls at my breasts one at a time until I look like a turkey timer.

Hot breaths moves against my hole while Damien speaks, “I guess there isn’t a stick here after all.”

The cracking sound is louder now, and I look at Damien to see what it is. The piece of shell I was holding earlier is starting to come apart again. It’s clear to see why, there’s a tenting bulge pressing against the shell in search of freedom. My egg man is ready to get fully undressed, and show me just how hard boiled his body really is.

Muscles carved from a diet of lean protein are covered in curls of green hair that smell like chives. Because they are, and I just can’t wait to run my fingers through the tufts covering his chest.

Mesmerized, I watch his hand wrap around a dick that’s as thick as a baguette and nearly as long. Beating the beastly thing like he’s making an omelet, he strokes down to the tuft of pubic herbs before squeezing back up.

Starting with replacing that stick in my ass with the anal beads he calls a tail.

He whispers a safe-word into my ear while I scream in ecstasy into his.

Its gonna be dumb

a few eggs plop out as well. I feel like a chicken in a time warp the way I lay the oval bulges before sucking them back in.

“Oh Bunny, you’re barely carting a dozen.”

Like a depraved animal, I am leashed to him. His tail becomes mine, a primal leash connecting us and forcing me to follow his commands.

take him in deeply, feeling the tickle of chive and dill against my skin as he sinks balls deep. His herbal pubes soak up my juices and release a fragrant scent into the air.

“I can’t take anymore, Damien. Oh fuck, I can’t.” The wicked bastard presses his tail deeper, saying, “Fuck isn’t our safe word, Shelby.” “CLUCK CLUCK,” I shriek, giving in to the pain and begging for release.

Then I see it. Yellow and thick, his release pipes out of his tip, creating a beautiful cascade of cum. The waves and swirls of whisked yolk decorate my body like a fine dining demonstration. His blast is strong enough to reach my face, and I dart my tongue out to taste him. Creamy and spicy, it’s the most decadent thing I’ve ever tasted.

Most of it went into the trash, but I definitely dipped a fingerfull or two into my mouth just to taste him again.

EW

“I didn’t even know I had chives,” I say as I reach for one to try. The flavors stroking my tastebuds have me rolling my eyes into the back of my head they are so fucking delicious. I look over and see Damien filling the last one with his secret sauce. Squeezing the tip of his cock, a charming little flower of filling swirls into the boat. Setting it down beside the rest, he takes a pinch of paprika and sprinkles the spice effortlessly onto the top. The final touches have him reaching for my kitchen shears, which he uses to clip a bit of chives from the space just above his balls. With the herbal forest cleared,

I’m pretty good at discerning flavors, and I’m curious if it’s nut-based.” “I guess you could say it’s something like that,” Damien answers while looking at me and raising his glass in my direction.