The Deviled Egg Made Me Do It
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Read between June 21 - June 21, 2024
22%
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“Damn, girl! Your ass is so fine it jiggles even more than that weird jelly thing your aunt brings to holiday meals.”
28%
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“Damien the Devil Egg,”
28%
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He’s handsome, for an egg.
28%
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Round features with full cheeks that dimple when he smiles. Succulent lips rest just above a softly squared jaw. Large eyes of shamrock green look down at me...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
41%
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I’ve never kissed a man like him before. He’s so solid under my hands,
42%
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a part of me was scared he would taste sulfuric or curdled. In reality, his kiss is warm and salty, like creamy fresh mozzarella.
47%
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My egg man is ready to get fully undressed, and show me just how hard boiled his body really is.
48%
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Muscles carved from a diet of lean protein are covered in curls of green hair that smell like chives.
48%
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Tattooed pecs and biceps flex
Logan
NO HE HAD A TATTOOED PENIS AS WELL. HELP
48%
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as thick as a baguette and nearly as long.
Logan
Girl you’re going to die
49%
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Beating the beastly thing like he’s making an omelet, he strokes down to the tuft of pubic herbs before squeezing back up. The egg-shaped head tipped with tiny horns glistens as he fists himself.
Logan
:/
58%
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With a guttural roar, the devil in my egg comes to life.
67%
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he flips me over like a spatula on a frying pan.
69%
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His herbal pubes soak up my juices and release a fragrant scent into the air.
Logan
I might throw up. Somehow this is a worst sentence than any splatterpunk I’ve ever read
70%
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His tattoos, his horns, his muscles, everything about him screams that he’s a bad egg through and through, and I love him for it.
Logan
HELP
75%
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“CLUCK CLUCK,”
Logan
No… no this isn’t… safe word… :(
76%
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succession of beads being pulled so quickly
Logan
YEOWCH
77%
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Creamy and spicy, it’s the most decadent thing I’ve ever tasted.
Logan
I’m gonna be sick
85%
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delicious. I look over and see Damien filling the last one with his secret sauce. Squeezing the tip of his cock, a charming little flower of filling swirls into the boat. Setting it down beside the rest, he takes a pinch of paprika and sprinkles the spice effortlessly onto the top. The final touches have him reaching for my kitchen shears, which he uses to clip a bit of chives from the space just above his balls.
Logan
…somehow I didn’t see this coming… and I wish I didn’t have to read it…
90%
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“So, what’s in this secret sauce? I’m pretty good at discerning flavors, and I’m curious if it’s nut-based.”
Logan
She fed this shit to her friends…