The Let Them Theory

by Mel Robbins

The problem isn’t you. The problem is the power you unknowingly give to other people.

The truth is, other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them. Here’s why this works: When you stop trying to control things that aren’t yours to control, you stop wasting your energy. You reclaim your time, your peace of mind, and your focus. You realize that your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else’s behavior, opinions, or mood.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are in control of is you. Your thoughts, your actions, your feelings.

And let’s be real—control gives us the illusion of safety. When we’re in control, we believe we can protect ourselves from pain, disappointment, rejection.

Trying to control people and situations doesn’t calm your fears. It amplifies them. Any psychologist will tell you, the more you try to control something you can’t, the more anxious and stressed out you become.

Let Them think you copied them. Because you did. And they copied the formula from someone else. Because they did. Formulas exist because they work time and time again.

You are so much stronger than anyone’s opinions about you. Stop giving your power to other people and step into your potential.

You get one wild and precious life, so go live it in a way that makes you proud.

It’s because adults, at their core, are just as emotional as children. The difference is, they are better at hiding it. . . most of the time.

Friendships are not a tit for tat. Do not keep score. Reach out to people because you want to. But don’t expect a response. How quickly or how often someone responds is not a sign of how much they care about you.