The Let Them Theory

by Mel Robbins

The 5 Second Rule taught me that action is the answer. Thinking about your problems will never solve them. Waiting around to feel like doing something means you’ll never do it. It taught me that no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself from yourself. You have to force yourself to make little moves forward, all day, every day, especially when you don’t feel like it.

Trying to control people and situations doesn’t calm your fears. It amplifies them.

The more you let other people live their lives, the better your life gets.

Other people’s emotional reactions are not your responsibility to manage.

“hoping someone will change is what keeps you trapped in a relationship with someone who is emotionally immature or worse, emotionally abusive.”

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being kind to yourself and continuing to grow.

there will be times when making the right decision for yourself is going to be one of the hardest things you have to do in life.

You maintain your power when you stop taking on the burden of others’ emotions and act in a way that aligns with your values.

Let people learn from life. Don’t shield them from the consequences of what they choose. If somebody says, “I don’t really want to get a job.” “Okay, well, how are you going to pay your rent?”

When we let people face the real-world consequences of the choices they make, they hopefully learn from them.

People’s behavior tells you exactly how they feel about you.

Chasing the wrong person always leads you to the wrong places. Chasing the potential means you know something isn’t right and you’re ignoring the truth.

Stop chasing the potential of who someone might be. Stop pouring your time and energy into people who do not give it back to you. Stop explaining away their disrespectful behavior. Stop giving your love to people who do not love you back. Stop making excuses for people who are clearly not interested in you. Stop chasing people who are not choosing to love you back. Stop playing the game.

The only way you learn who someone is and where you stand in their life is by watching their behavior. Forget what they say. Watch what they do.

If you’re making excuses for someone else’s behavior . . . stop. Let Them reveal who they truly are. Let Them reveal whether or not they make an effort. Let Them reveal whether or not they care.

Can you still love them despite all these things? Because, the reality of it is . . . they may never change. And here is the other thing, they probably won’t.