The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

by Mel Robbins

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being kind to yourself and continuing to grow. It’s a lifelong process,

Just because the right decision seems clear, doesn’t always mean it’s an easy decision to make. That’s because the human experience is largely an emotional one.

It’s not your job to protect everybody else from feeling emotions. Your job and responsibility is to live your life in a way that is aligned with your values and what you know deep down is true for you.

You are stronger than anyone else’s emotional reaction. Let Them have their opinions. Let Them have their reactions. Let Me have mine. Let your emotions rise up and give yourself the space to process your emotions too. Never let someone else’s emotional reactions keep you from making the hard decision. Let Me be honest with myself and others. Let Me do the hard thing that is painful now, because it is the right thing to do and will save me from so much pain later. Let Me give myself the opportunity to have the life I deserve.

Make the right decisions for you, even if they make other people upset.

The fact is, every human being is dealt a different hand in life and you can’t control the cards that someone else is holding. The more time you spend staring at someone else, the more you miss the entire point of the game. In life, you’re not playing against anyone. You’re playing with them. Someone will always have better cards than yours.

It’s true, a lot of people have been dealt a “luckier” or “more successful” hand of cards. Let Them. They are going to achieve things faster. They have a leg up. They have more resources. They have more support. There is nothing you can do to change it. It’s a fact. Let Them. Because worrying about it, or making yourself feel bad, is an insult to your intelligence.

Winning the game of life requires you to focus on the cards you have and choosing what to do with them.

Comparing yourself to other people is unavoidable. It is human nature to look around and see what everyone else is doing and how you measure up. The problem isn’t the tendency to compare. The problem is what you’re doing with the comparison that matters. So ask yourself: What are you doing when you compare? Are you torturing yourself, or is it teaching you something important?

Comparison feels like torture when you’re focused on fixed attributes of someone else’s life.

but these are the types of things people are usually born with and not something they worked hard to achieve.

Here’s how you know it’s fixed. Is there anything you can do in the next 30 seconds to change this? If not, you’re never going to be able to change these things.

And here’s how you know that comparison is good: You’re looking at aspects of someone else’s life or success that you could create for yourself. With time and consistent effort, these aspects of your life, career, or health could be changed.

95 percent of the things that you want in life are things that you can create if you are willing to work hard, be consistent, disciplined, and patient. Very little about your life is fixed in stone.

No one else’s wins are your losses. That’s why you have to change the way you look at other people’s success.

If you are jealous right now about someone else’s success, GOOD. I’m happy for you. Jealousy is an invitation from your future self. It is inviting you to look more closely at someone else—not to make you feel inferior, but to show you what is possible.

Flip your jealousy to inspiration.