The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

by Mel Robbins

You must save yourself from yourself. You have to force yourself to make little moves forward, all day, every day, especially when you don’t feel like it.

The problem with waiting is no one is coming. The only permission you need is your own.

You’ll never feel ready to change your life. One day, you just get tired of your own excuses and force yourself to do it.

The truth is, other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them.

So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations. And the truth is, if somebody else—a person you’re dating, a business partner, a family member—if they’re not showing up how you need them to show up, do not try to force them to change. Let Them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are in control of is you. Your thoughts, your actions, your feelings.

Trying to control people and situations doesn’t calm your fears. It amplifies them.

The reason it’s hard to manage your stress is that your reaction to what is happening around you is automatic and you feel your entire body go on edge.

You can’t control everyone around you, or the world at large, or what people are doing at the park, but you can always control what you say, think, or do in response—and that’s where true power comes.

What if you pour your time and energy into your hobbies, your habits, your happiness? What change would you make if you weren’t worried about being judged? What is something that you are afraid to admit that you want?

Instead of wasting your time worrying about them, start living your life in a way that makes you proud of yourself. Let Me do what I want to do with my one wild and precious life.

Write the book. Ask them out. Wear what you want to wear. Go surf all day. Go back to school. Drop out of school. Move. Get a dog. Book the trip. Stop drinking. Embrace your sexuality. Take the path that you’ve been scared to follow.

By learning to focus on what you can control—your thoughts, your actions, your energy, your healing—you unlock the power to change not only yourself but the world around you. It all starts with you. That’s how much power you have. Anytime you improve yourself, it improves all your relationships.

What I’ve found is that being happier requires you to allow yourself to be happier.

There is enough happiness, success, friendship, and money to go around for absolutely everyone including you. It is in limitless supply.

Jealousy is an invitation from your future self. It is inviting you to look more closely at someone else—not to make you feel inferior, but to show you what is possible.

You have a beautiful and amazing life to live. You have potential beyond your imagination. You are not limited by where you live, or the circumstances you are facing, or the aspects of your life that you believe are limitations.

When you move through life with a welcoming spirit, life opens up to you

The warmth you give to others always finds its way back to you.

All you have to do is go first.

your love story is far from over. The love of your life is not in your past. They are waiting for you in the future, and everything that has happened and every relationship you’ve been in has prepared you for what is about to happen next.

You weren’t put on the earth to be somebody’s wife or husband. You are here to fulfill your dreams; share your story; and create a big, beautiful, amazing life.

No one else is going to create that life for you. The person you choose to love gets to share that life with you.

Chasing the potential means you know something isn’t right and you’re ignoring the truth.

Let Me wake up and be honest with myself. The more I chase this person, the more time I spend texting this person, and the more I live in my head creating a fantasy that they are eventually going to come around and see that we are meant for each other, the less likely I am going to meet a person who wants a real relationship.

A relationship doesn’t make you worthy of love. Your existence does. You will spend your entire life from the day you are born to the day you die with only one person: you. You are the only love of your life.

Stop chasing love and start choosing it.

The truth is simple: YOU hold the power. And YOU are the one who has been giving it away.

Nobody owes you anything, but you owe yourself everything.