The Let Them Theory

by Mel Robbins

The truth is, other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them.

In Stoicism, the focus is on controlling your own thoughts and actions

Buddhism and Radical Acceptance teach that suffering comes from resisting reality.

Detachment Theory teaches us how to emotionally distance ourselves from situations that trigger us.

True power lies in our response.

Let Them is just the first half of the equation. You cannot stop there. There is a second, critical part to the theory—Let Me

When you say Let Me, you’re tapping into that power by taking responsibility for what you do, think, or say next.

When you say Let Them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people’s behavior to bother you. When you say Let Me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next.

There’s this famous quote about life from Greek philosopher Epictetus, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”