The Let Them Theory

by Mel Robbins

It makes your partner reflect on the conflict between what they truly want to change in their life and their current behavior and what they don’t.

You will spend your entire life from the day you are born to the day you die with only one person: you.

Are you respecting your own boundaries? Are you showing yourself the compassion and kindness you offer to those you love? Are you allowing yourself to pursue your dreams without waiting for someone else’s approval?

When you stop chasing validation from others and start choosing to honor yourself, you send a powerful message to the world about how you deserve to be treated.

Let Me prioritize my own happiness. Let Me pursue my dreams with passion. Let Me set boundaries that protect my peace. Let Me choose relationships that uplift and inspire me. Let Me love myself enough to walk away when it no longer works.

Relationships are about learning how to love someone for who they are, not for who you wish they could be.

If you don’t use Let Them, you are allowing yourself to be impacted by the worries, actions, insecurities, and opinions of others. If you don’t use Let Me, you are leaving the things you want in life up to chance.

wanting your boss to recognize your worth, wanting more friends, wanting people to like you, wanting your family to support your career change—if all those thoughts, feelings, and precious moments in your day were put toward something that truly mattered to you, where would you be? Who would you be? What would you have achieved?

Now think about all the missed opportunities—the people you wished you had introduced yourself to, the career you wanted to pursue, the music, the stand-up, the book you never wrote, the photo you never posted, the trip you didn’t plan, the thing you were afraid to say, the person you were afraid to love. THAT is the cost of not using Let Me.

There is no difference between you and the people you see achieving extraordinary things. They aren’t special.

But there’s one thing for sure they’ve figured out: They don’t let the world around them derail their dreams.

Every day that you allow your fear of somebody else’s opinion, stress over friendships, or concern about how someone will react to prevent you from making the phone call, filling out the application, working on the business plan, starting the diet, or putting in the effort, you’re holding yourself back.

Stop wasting your brain space on the million tiny things that don’t matter. It’s time to use every second of your day for all the amazing things you know you’re capable of.

Nobody owes you anything, but you owe yourself everything.

You’ve wasted so many years being so consumed with other people, their feelings, their thoughts, and what they’re doing. So let this book be your wake-up call: You are in charge.

It means being laser-focused on the things you can control and not giving a single second to the things you can’t.

Let Me get started. Let Me take a risk.

Let Me apply for the dream job.