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by
Mel Robbins
Read between
June 5 - June 15, 2025
“Are these table scraps what you’re willing to accept, or are you looking for a five star meal?”
Do not accept the table scraps.
But every couple that has made a relationship work has had two important things present: First, they both wanted the relationship to work. And they were both willing to do the work to make it better. Second, the issues that
created problems did not require either person to give up their dreams or compromise their values.
Anytime you find yourself questioning whether or not this is the right relationship for you, ask yourself: Can you accept this person
exactly as they are, and exactly where they are, and still love them? That means, do you
People only do what they feel like doing. Yes, you can influence them. But if you keep wanting them to change, and they don’t, it not only weakens your love. It creates resentment.
Instead of sitting there silently resenting them or criticizing them behind their back, be the loving and mature person in the relationship. Either stop trying to make them like you, and accept them as they are, or have the productive and loving conversation about what you need, and why this is bothering you.
ABC Loop and the power of your influence: A: APOLOGIZE, then ASK open-ended questions. B: BACK OFF, and observe their BEHAVIOR. C: CELEBRATE progress while you continue to model the CHANGE.
When that happens, your tendency is to want to reassure someone. Don’t do it. Let their complaint hang in the air. Don’t respond.
“It sounds like it bothers you?” “Is there anything you want to do about it?”
Could you be with this person for the rest of your life if they never, ever change?
relationships are about learning how to love someone for who they are, not for who you wish they could be.
loving someone as they are goes beyond ending your bitching. You demonstrate through your behavior that you do love them as they are. You lead with kindness and consideration.
to make the relationship work, she has to work harder at accepting him and changing how she shows up in the relationship. She needs to bring more compassion and kindness to their dynamic. She can keep trying to influence him, but the expectations have to go, along with any complaining. This is about her, not about him.
because he’s not changing who he is, she needs to change who she has been in order for this relationship to be better.
Will you regret breaking up with them more than moving to London with them? If you agree to move, will you resent your partner if you choose to leave your family and friends behind?
69 percent of the problems in your relationship are not resolvable.
Is this something you can compromise on if your partner won’t?
These are big issues. That’s why you can’t let it go. It’s tied to a deeper vision that you have about your life. It’s a very personal decision that you’re going to need to make.
Only you know whether you don’t appreciate what’s right in front of you, or if you see everything
the two things that are required to make a long-term relationship work: Both people want the relationship to work and are both willing to work on it to make it better. The issues that create problems do not require either person to give up their dreams or compromise their values.
Maybe if they would have had the hard conversations
If you stay with someone who doesn’t share the same hopes and dreams that you have. It will make you both miserable.
Anne has a rule of thumb when it comes to heartbreak. No contact for 30 days. The reason is that any contact at all—seeing a photo, hearing their voice—will activate all the old patterns in your nervous
system, and will really force you to take a step
back in your process of unlearning life wi...
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A relationship doesn’t make you worthy of love. Your existence does.
But more importantly, let yourself be who you truly are. Let Me prioritize my own happiness. Let Me pursue my dreams with passion. Let Me set boundaries that protect my peace. Let Me choose relationships that uplift and inspire me. Let Me love myself enough to walk away when it no longer works.
When you say Let Them, you accept people as they are, and you accept their behavior as the truth. When you say Let Me, you choose how love shows up in your life. Stop chasing love and start choosing it.
You’ve been trying to control the uncontrollable, trying to force the world to conform to
THAT is the cost of not using Let Them. Now think about all the missed opportunities—the people you wished you had introduced yourself to, the career you wanted to pursue, the music, the stand-up, the book you never wrote, the photo you never posted, the trip you didn’t plan, the thing you were afraid to say, the person you were afraid to love. THAT is the cost of not using Let Me.
They don’t let the world around them derail their dreams. They’ve learned to navigate the sky, to accept the weather as it comes, and to keep moving toward their goals no matter what. At some point, they got sick and tired of worrying about what everybody else thought and just forced themselves to get to work. They are laser focused on waking up every day and proving, over and over through their actions, that they are worthy and deserving of the vision they have for their life.
