The Let Them Theory

by Mel Robbins

And if you’re reading this, and your parents are paying for your therapy, or your rent, or your education, or your phone bill, or any aspect of your life, I have news for you: They get to vote on how you’re living your life. You don’t get to have someone else fund your life and then have an attitude when they have an opinion about how you’re using their money. If you are sick of your parents’ opinions about what you should be doing, then start paying your own bills.

This isn’t about becoming self-centered or shutting others out. It’s about recognizing that the love, respect, and care you give yourself set the standard for every other relationship in your life. When you stop chasing validation from others and start choosing to honor yourself, you send a powerful message to the world about how you deserve to be treated.

Let Them be who they are. But more importantly, let yourself be who you truly are. Let Me prioritize my own happiness. Let Me pursue my dreams with passion. Let Me set boundaries that protect my peace. Let Me choose relationships that uplift and inspire me. Let Me love myself enough to walk away when it no longer works.

You decide if a comment from a loved one destroys your self-esteem or rolls off your back. You decide if all the bad dates you’ve been on cause you to lower your standards or become even more discerning. You decide if someone else’s success makes you quit or inspires you to work even harder. It’s that simple. You have the power.

The people and situations around you are like the weather. The fact is, you can never control other people—how they think, how they act, whether or not they love you, or how fast they check you out at the grocery store. So why on earth would you ever give them that level of control over you that you have been? Why would you ever entrust something as precious as your confidence, your peace of mind, your happiness, and your dreams to the whims and moods of the people around you?

Let Me era. Let Me get started. Let Me take a risk. Let Me write the book. Let Me be honest about what I want. Let Me get in the best shape of my life. Let Me apply for the dream job. Let Me stop giving love to people who don’t want me back. Let Me create a better life. A life that makes me proud. A life that makes me happy. A life where I use my precious energy to enjoy every single moment I will have.