The Let Them Theory

by Mel Robbins

whenever you or another person are hungry, or tired, or stressed-out, or under the influence, or lonely, or angry, or hurt, you’ll be even more emotional.

Avoiding the hard conversations now won’t make them any better next year.

I had counted on my husband being successful and providing me with the financial support to have the things that I wanted in life. The truth is, your life is your responsibility. If you want financial success, it is your responsibility to create it. If you want a house that has queen bunk beds and a renovated kitchen, it is your responsibility to work for it.

But here’s the truth: The best relationships of your life are still ahead of you. The most fulfilling friendships, the most beautiful love stories, and the most incredible bonds with family members are waiting for you if you learn to accept people for who they are and stop trying to force a relationship to be something it’s not.

Stop punishing them for not changing on your timeline. Stop trying to “motivate” them into doing something they clearly don’t want to do. It is a waste of your time. It is stressing you out. It is ruining your relationship. It is not working.

Loving people means that you have to meet them where they are.

You must learn how to let adults be adults.

When we let people face the real-world consequences of the choices they make, they hopefully learn from them.

When you’re the parent, you are responsible for your child’s physical, mental, and emotional needs.

the only way somebody gets stronger is by facing the things they feel too weak to face.

You are way more capable than you give yourself credit for, and so is the person you love.

Then, stand by their side as they do the hard thing—which,

“If someone likes you, you’ll know, and if they don’t, you’ll be confused.”

I value my time and energy, and I don’t want to put time and energy into

I only want to invest more time and energy if

Even if there are specific things that bother you, in the end they might not be deal breakers. They may be things you have to learn to accept, and that’s just work you’re going to have to do to make this relationship thrive.

Let Them. Not everyone wants to change. Sometimes in life, the most loving thing you can do is to stop fixing, start accepting, be more loving, and focus on what you can control.

Let Me. It’s time to decide if this is a deal breaker for YOU. Because remember, you always get to choose who and how you love.

two things are required to make a relationship go the distance:

The issues that create problems do not require either person to give up their dreams or compromise their values.

you have a choice—a choice to prioritize your needs, your desires, and your happiness.

When you stop chasing validation from others and start choosing to honor yourself, you send a powerful message to the world about how you deserve to be treated.

Let Me prioritize my own happiness. Let Me pursue my dreams with passion. Let Me set boundaries that protect my peace. Let Me choose relationships that uplift and inspire me. Let Me love myself enough to walk away when it no longer works.

It’s about recognizing that you are the source of your own happiness, your own fulfillment, and your own joy.

YOU hold the power. And YOU are the one who has been giving it away.

No matter what happens around you, you decide how it will affect you.

Why would you ever entrust something as precious as your confidence, your peace of mind, your happiness, and your dreams to the whims and moods of the people around you?

Every day that you allow your fear of somebody else’s opinion, stress over friendships, or concern about how someone will react to prevent you from making the phone call, filling out the application, working on the business plan, starting the diet, or putting in the effort, you’re holding yourself back. You’re robbing yourself of your potential. You’re standing still while life moves on around you.

you are responsible for your own happiness.

You are in charge.