The Undercutting of Rosie and Adam (Hart and Mercy, #3)

by Megan Bannen

And by dated, I mean went out with one time and decided nah.”

Rowr, the tabby groused at him in a way that said, How dare you fail to greet me. But also, don’t touch me, or I will kill you. Unless I want you to pet me, in which case, pet me, or I will kill you.

It was a ludicrous reason to like someone, but when you were a big girl navigating a world in which the Old Gods’ notions of femininity lingered like Man Smell in a locker room, you tended to like your fellow women of a certain size.

“Again: you’re drinking tea at a bar. Who’s the asshole here?”

Rosie had zero romantic interest in the man, but those forearms could inspire sonnets.

She was, in fact, slightly worried, but in her experience, 99 percent of the things people fretted over came to a whole lot of nothing in the end. It was the unexpected twists that bit you in the ass.

“I find that processed meat and craft beer pair well with existential despair,” said Zeddie.

And for the record, I don’t call him Father or Dad. I tend to use terms like Entitled God-Baby or Ugh, Him Again.”

“But this sandwich is fucking amazing. What did Zeddie put in this thing? Sex?”

“Fuck my life,” she muttered a half second before a bolt of lightning struck her and she died for the third time in a week and a half.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” said Zeddie, holding the sopping shirt over his chiseled chest. “I shouldn’t be stripping down right in front of you. I wasn’t thinking.” “Feel free to not think in my presence any old time.”

“You enjoy a man’s yearning and suffering?” “Fictionally speaking? Very much.”

“Take your apology and shove it. Every other kiss of my life is now garbage, thanks to you. No one else can kiss me again after that. Your lips are the gold standard. Your tongue is a masterpiece. I will accept nothing less.”

It was just so hard to think straight with Adam’s tight derriere saying hello to and shaking hands with her pants feelings.

In a world where women were supposed to be small and men were supposed to be strong, Rosie had spent too much of her life bemoaning the fact that she towered over everyone she had ever dated, when what she really needed was a guy who was as vast on the inside as she was on the outside.

“Because I’d rather be stuck in here with you than stuck out there without you, you fucking asshole.”

“I called you a fool.” “Really? It sounded so nice.” “It literally means ‘You are a soft cantaloupe.’”