Wrangled by the Alien Rancher (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides, #2)

by Ursa Dax

A husband? Actually making you happy? What the fuck kind of crazy-ass planet had I landed on?

From the moment she’d stepped out of that human craft, she’d been mine. And I was not about to let something as tiny and unimportant as the fact I’d once murdered a man get in the way.

And really, what is one little, insignificant murder on my record? It only happened once.”

There was a good chance I’d married a very nice, decent, dopey sort of ex-murderer alien who was apparently already halfway in love with me.

The man’s titties were bigger than mine!

His ears were so adorable it was practically a crime.

Oh, no. Absolutely not. I was not going to get turned on by my own husband.

If anyone was going to bite my husband’s dick, it was going to be me!

If I’d had some dumbass Zabrian manual with drawings and diagrams, I’d have known all about this cock tail! Feeling it poking around my derriere would have been more of a fun, sexy surprise instead of an oh God what is this eldritch horror?! surprise.

“You mean before they became murderers and got sentenced to live the yee-haw, howdy partner life?”

Magnolia had read a certified metric fuckton of romance novels – her words, not mine – and on the whole just seemed way more into all the lovey dovey stuff than me.

My cheeks warmed, and I felt incredibly stupid admitting it, but it very much seemed like I may have developed a bit of a crush on my husband. Go fucking figure.

“She’s probably just poisoned me and I’ve gone and thanked her for it. Empire help me.”

Fuck a Terratribe II duck.

“Alright. Say it with me now, Fallon. Clitoris.” “Clitorosaurus.” “Try again. Clit-or-us.” “Clito… Clitoroni.” “What? That’s even further away from the original!”

“I know that it’s very sensitive, with many nerves. I studied the diagram extensively. I know where it is located.” “Well, you’re already ahead of the majority of human men,” I said with a laugh.

I do not care if you do not respect me. But you will respect my wife.”