Wrangled by the Alien Rancher (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides, #2)

by Ursa Dax

Don’t show up to your wedding without a shirt,” was what the warden had sternly told me. And so, I would not.

A husband? Actually making you happy? What the fuck kind of crazy-ass planet had I landed on?

“Fallon, humans don’t typically just strip down and start banging right there on the altar,” Cherry squeaked, her cheeks as red as the scarf tied around her neck. Magnolia was staring at the floor, her lips pinched between her teeth. I could not tell if she was grimacing or fighting back a smile. “I don’t know what an altar is. And I wasn’t going to bang on anything,”

“A bucket,” I echoed. “Am I…” I lowered my voice. “Am I supposed to ejaculate into it?”

Only once, in the doorway, did she turn to look back at me, making sure I’d followed. She didn’t know me very well yet. Because if she did, she never would have needed to turn around and check.

“Do you have any other tips for me? About having a human wife?” “The soft parts on their chests are not called udders,” he said.

“A man could read a thousand books on human women and never be any closer to actually understanding them. You’ll have to learn through trial and error and making a complete fool of yourself.”

The man’s titties were bigger than mine!

I was weak and I was trapped. Stuck. Bamboozled by Fallon’s boobs, Terra help me.

I had not known that having a wife would be so incredibly stressful.

But Fallon didn’t give me a chance to feel afraid. Because he absolutely froze me with his next words. “Can I,” he groaned against the top of my head, his fingers rubbing my ass needily, “touch your clitorosaurus?”

Oh, that should not have felt so nice. That my sweet, golden retriever of a husband would turn himself into a wolf for me.