Wrangled by the Alien Rancher (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides, #2)

by Ursa Dax

Empire, if my bride Darcy is only half so sweet as Silar’s woman…

“That is no problem,” I said with a dismissive flick of my tail across the wood planks of the floor. “I can sew.” “You can?” Cherry looked surprised by this. And, if I was not mistaken, perhaps even a little impressed. From somewhere in Silar’s gloomy, forgotten corner came the sound of knuckles cracking. “I can sew, too.”

LMAO

“You said you’d kill him?” Warden Tenn interjected, pinning Silar with a narrow-eyed look. “I was angry,” Silar grunted. “I would not have done it. Probably…” “Probably?!” Warden Tenn tipped his head back, staring up at the sky with a flatly beseeching look.

😭 warden tenn is sooooooo tired of them

From the moment she’d stepped out of that human craft, she’d been mine. And I was not about to let something as tiny and unimportant as the fact I’d once murdered a man get in the way.

“Darcy,” he said again, slightly less loud this time but just as frantic. “I know that I have killed a man-” Well, there went the whole “maybe he was convicted of a lesser crime” thing. “-but it is not so big a problem, is it? It was a long time ago. A very, very long time ago. And really, what is one little, insignificant murder on my record? It only happened once.”

There is a very good chance I’m about to marry the biggest alien dope in this entire colony.

Only once, in the doorway, did she turn to look back at me, making sure I’d followed. She didn’t know me very well yet. Because if she did, she never would have needed to turn around and check.

“But you won’t have that problem, Darcy. Fallon has been goo-goo over you since before you even arrived. Your only problem is going to be getting him to stop talking about how much he adores you.”

“I should get my bag,” Darcy murmured. “I will get it.” Neither of us moved.

Her smelly breath fanned over my face and a big, fat drop of dog drool landed with a messy splat on my left boot. Perfection. Absolutely flawless. I loved her.

I knew that Magnolia and I saw his ears at the exact same time, because precisely one millisecond later, our gazes met, both of us with wide eyes that screamed the soundless cry of What the fuck? The man had the cutest fucking ears in existence. Silky-looking, rounded, and sticking straight up from his skull, they looked like something that belonged on a Terratribe II field mouse, not a seven-foot-something alien male. So cute! Magnolia mouthed to me from across the table.

“Blood loss?” I blinked at him. “Are you serious?” “About my wife?” he replied without hesitation. “Always.”

Oh, no. Absolutely not. I was not going to get turned on by my own husband.

“Oh. That? Yes,” Fallon said without a hint of artifice, modesty, or guilt, the bastard. “You coloured these images to look more like us?” I squawked, heat rising to my face. This was so freaking awkward. Why wasn’t he embarrassed?! “I was… visualizing…” he muttered, scratching the back of his head, his bicep bulging.

Breathing tightly, I stepped up to the side of the bed and laid the back of my hand upon her cheek. She moaned slightly and nuzzled into my touch before making a delightful snorting sound. She’d reacted to me.

There was a plate laid out for me at the place I’d been sitting yesterday. Slowly, I inched up to it, staring down to find what looked like two pickled eggs and a slice of some sort of alien bacon. In the shape of a face. A smiling face.

fallon 😭😭

My heart gave an odd little trill at the sight of Fallon sprinting towards me with such a big, goofy grin on his face.

I also couldn’t help but notice that the food looked very, uh, happy to see me.” Fallon looked real fucking proud of himself. “That was a representation of my feelings since your arrival,” he said,

In fact, he seemed to be holding it in place now, as if he’d finally gotten it through his thick alien head that greeting a nice human lady with your alien Johnson just bouncing around in the breeze was absolutely not acceptable.

“I’m not skittish,” she protested. “I’m just… I’m just… reserved!” “Yes. My reserved little cat.” “Fallon!” “Drink your tea, little cat.” “Oh my God.”

She sounded worried. Worried about me.

I could not remember the last time someone had cared enough to worry about me. I am so glad I have a wife. This is the best.

Tenderness that felt and awful lot like pain tore through my chest. I buried my face in my wife’s hair.

I’ll always come back to you, Darcy. Always.”

Even in his pain, the big dope managed to give me a sweet smile. “Thank you for trying to save me, anyway.”

“You did not get a book like I did.” “Yeah, seriously. What the hell? Why didn’t I get a human-Zabrian porn colouring book!” I cried, throwing up my hands.

Oh my God. This man was literally turned on just by the idea of being married to me.

Fallon had engineered a sort of fire-bucket-pump-hose situation that, while nothing like the fancy bathroom I’d had on Terratribe II, I appreciated all the same, especially since it hadn’t been there before and he’d only made it for me.

When she let go, Garrek curled that hand – and only that hand – into a fist at his side.

👀

Incoming Tablet Communication Cherry Dawson: Wait. Does this mean you guys have had sexy times??? Omg you’ve probably made Fallon’s whole life.

Garrek stared at her while she stared at the toes of her boots. Then, more carefully and gently than those big hands should have been capable of, he wrapped the now crescent-moon shaped soap back up in its paper, put it in his vest pocket, and gruffly muttered, “Didn’t say that.”

“I am lucky,” he groaned in response, his tail winding possessively around the ankle of my right boot. “Do not think for a moment that I don’t know it.”

I’d thought my wedding was the best day of my life. This was also the best day of my life. I had so many more best days to come with my wife that I nearly tipped over with the force of that joy. My life is so beautiful now, I thought, watching with near-wretched adoration as she finally tugged open my belt and trousers with a smirk of triumph.

My wife was already missing Magnolia and whatever else she’d left behind. I did not want her to miss this, too. I mulled over the conundrum of her changing hair colour as she left me to go clean up in the house.

“Hold on,” I said, my gaze going from the bucket to his excited face. “Are you telling me that not only did you paint in that book, you literally had to make the paint yourself to do it?”

“Don’t… Don’t you want to eat?” I balked. Why the heck was he so excited about this idea? Was he really that fucking keen on simply making me happy?

You can eat while I am putting the substance on your hair.” “Wait… You’re going to do it?!” “You don’t do it yourself, do you? You made it sound like someone else always did it for you before,” he said. His tail wrapped around my waist and tugged until I fell unsteadily into a chair. “I am your husband. I will be the one to do it for you now.”

I did not look at my exile like some of the other men here do. I considered it a relief. It was a fresh start. I love working with my hands. I love the land. I love Sora and the shuldu and the bracku. And I love you.” He said it so easily, looking right into my eyes. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Being sent here saved my life. Marrying you completed it.”

As if my entrance into the bed had flipped some switch in Fallon’s sleeping brain, he suddenly flopped down gracelessly onto his side facing me, his head on the pillows, his eyes still shut. Instantly, his tail was around my left thigh, and a heavy arm closed over me, drawing my back against the hard curve of his front.

As a very young child, I’d fantasized about my parents coming to reclaim me and bring me home. I’d pretend they wanted me and build a fake home with them in my head. Sometimes, I wondered if that was why I enjoyed sewing quilts for this place, or the reason I’d added on extra bedrooms to the original building of the ranch. I was trying to build a home I’d never really had. Until now. Until her.

sobbing

I wanted to go back in time and tell that kicked pup, that kicked boy, to wait. Just wait. Because your life will be good one day. Better than you ever could have imagined or deserved.

Oh, that should not have felt so nice. That my sweet, golden retriever of a husband would turn himself into a wolf for me.

But nobody insulted my wife in my earshot and got away with it.

“I do not care if you are Darcy’s mother. I do not care if you’re the warden.” Somewhere behind me, I heard the warden sigh.

LMAO PLS

No one comes here and speaks to my wife that way. No. One.” “Fallon,” Darcy whispered. “It’s alright. I-” “It is not alright!” I thundered in response. “You are perfect, Darcy. Precious.” I faced her foul mother once more. “You say Darcy is not good enough? I say that you’re a fool.”

“Every day,” I seethed, as if my very soul were seeping out from between my teeth, “I thank the sun for rising just so it can shine upon her. Simply to breathe the air beside her is something that I treasure and fight every moment to deserve. I do not care if you do not respect me. But you will respect my wife.”

“I want to be the one to help you,” he said, so quietly that it gutted me. “You will be,” I told him. “But first, you have to heal.”

“Would you also help me wash my cock?” he asked hopefully. “Are you telling me that area is hard to reach for you?” I asked, raising an incredulous eyebrow at him. “Maybe? I do feel, ever since my injuries, that perhaps my arms are not as long as they used to be…”

precious lil angel HAHA