Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

“What are you listening to?” “I don’t know the name. I just picked a song to remember the moment.” Huh? She must realize how confused I am because she adds, “I pick a song when something cool or important happens so I can remember it. Then when I want to relive a moment, I rewind it back and start the song from the beginning.”

“The guy you were with tonight.” I slowly shift back to face her. “Who was he?” The set in her jaw is evident even from here. “Not your job to worry about.” Nodding, I turn back to my house, hands casually tucked in my pockets as I continue to walk. With my back to her, I make sure my words are loud enough for her to hear them. “Lose him.”

“What’s up with the classic boombox?” He shrugs. “It still works. Why replace what’s not broken? And the guys can give me shit for it all they want, but I’m the only one on the team with good taste in music.” “You’re welcome for that.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you an answer on the renovation right now.” “I get it.” He breathes a laugh to himself. “Do you, though?” Those pleading green eyes look at me over his shoulder. “Five minutes and it feels like that again, like nothing happened. Imagine six months. I don’t want it to be like that again. After everything, it can’t.”

“Did you like Kevin back?” “No. Not like that.” There’s another long pause. “Well, maybe that was the first time you were told, but I know for a fact it wasn’t the first time someone liked you.”

“You’re telling me you never once vented and talked shit about me?” she asks with a laugh. “No.” My tone is even. “Never once, Hal.”

“You used to be my best friend, and yeah, we haven’t seen each other since then, but I’d rather hold on to the memory of the sweet neighbor boy I loved than replace it with this version of you.”

“You want to replace me on the project.” Rio’s head rears back. “What? No. No, I don’t want to replace you. I want to start over.” “Start over?” Those green eyes meet the ground with a bit of shyness. “If you want.” “But you hate me, remember?” His attention immediately meets mine, glare hard. “I don’t hate you. Hurt, yes. But I could never hate you, Hallie.”

“You don’t have to tell everyone your first and last name,” he says, the same way my brother did all those years ago. “I like it.” He slips his hand into mine and the electrifying slide of his palm against my own acts as a reminder that we haven’t intentionally touched in years. Nothing about it feels friendly or professional, especially when the pad of his thumb slides across my knuckle in a gentle stroke. “I like it too,” he says.

“Do any of these draw your eye? Do you see anything that you’d like to wake up to every morning?” Waiting for his response, I pull my attention from the books to him. Only to find him already looking at me.

“I’m going to do it!” His tipsy grin is way too big. “I’m going to go ask for her number.” “Hey, Rook?” He looks my way, so stupidly excited. “Yeah?” “Sit the fuck down.” “Yep.”

“Don’t let him call you that,” I say quietly. “He doesn’t fucking know you.” She lifts a brow. “And you think you still do?” “Yeah, Hal. I still know you. And you still know me. Better than anyone.”

“It was real,” I quickly admit. “For me at least. It was real. That’s how I know it exists.” I watch as the words settle into him. “Yeah,” he breathes. “It was real for me too, Hal.”

“No jersey?” I ask, nodding towards her colorful sweater. “Not until you tell me why you changed your number.” She lets that statement hang to see if I take the bait, but I don’t. “And besides, you’ve got plenty of other people wearing your jersey in here.” I hold eye contact. “Kind of only care about one.”

Rio opens the passenger side door for me and right there, sitting on the seat, is a folded blanket and a small pillow. I spin on my heel to face him, and I don’t think it’s simply the chilly Chicago air that’s making his olive-toned skin flushed. “In case you wanted to get some sleep again.”

His attention moves back to my mouth, once again asking the question, “You single, Hal?” I finally give him the long-awaited answer, nodding to tell him yes. “Good.” He takes a slow predatorial step towards me, tone sharp and leaving no room for question. “Because we aren’t fucking friends.”

“See? There’s no need to be embarrassed around my teammates. They’re normal people. Well…sort of. If anything, Rookie should be the one embarrassed, thinking he has a shot in hell with you.” She’s staring straight ahead, chin tipped up. “And who says he doesn’t?” I whip my head in her direction. “Hallie. That’s not funny.”

“But I’m not your person.” My throat burns while saying it, and the words taste like a lie as soon as they’re out of my mouth. “Yeah,” he chuckles without humor. “That’s what I spent the past six years trying to convince myself of too. But I’m tired of lying, Hallie. Aren’t you?” “I don’t want to want you.” “Yeah, baby.” He nudges his nose against mine. “That makes two of us.”

“Are you out of your mind? Just because I need you to be mine before I fuck you doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle.”

“I’m not going to push you to want me. But I am going to be here, waiting, if you ever decide you want to try again. I’m not going anywhere this time.”

“You held your parents’ relationship on a pedestal as this ideal picture of what love should look like, but I didn’t view my parents’ relationship that way.” I take his face in my hands, making sure his attention is on me. “That’s how I viewed ours.”

“You have every right to hate me, Hal. You have every right to believe that I forgot about you, but I didn’t. Not one day went by that I didn’t think of you. You were everywhere. In the music I listened to. In the house I live in. I tried to compare every single person I met to you, but there was no comparison. And I will spend the rest of my life regretting leaving you behind all those years ago.”

“When we were in New York, you asked me why I never upgraded that old boombox. Do you remember that?” I nod. “This is why,” he says. “I didn’t have any other way to play the tapes and CDs, and not playing them wasn’t an option for me. For years, I’ve taken this fucking boombox everywhere with me. Held on to it, like if I could keep rewinding and replaying these moments we had, then maybe it wasn’t over.” He pulls a random cassette tape out of the box, running his thumb over the inked heart. “I don’t want it to be over, Hallie.”

“Well, I know that technically, these are your best memories, but they’re mine too. Meeting on that roof, listening to music. Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory, and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again.”

He doesn’t fully turn to face me, only giving me his right profile, but still his eyes slowly work their way up my body. “You look beautiful, baby.”

“What the hell happened?” “Luke.” “What do you mean, Luke? He hit you?” Rio shrugs like this is the most casual conversation. “Well, I let him, but yeah.” “Why would you let him? And why would he do that?” “I let him because I deserved it for lying to him for so long, and he hit me because he was furious after I told him I was in love with his sister.”

“You love me?” “Well, yeah.” He softens with a smile. “Isn’t that obvious?” “You don’t think you should’ve told me before you told my brother?” “Shit.” Realization dawns on his handsome but bruised face. “I didn’t think of it like that. I mean, I’ve loved you since I was twelve. I thought that was another one of those unspoken things.” I can’t help but laugh because, wow, that feels good to hear after a year apart. “This is something that should maybe be spoken out loud.”

“Well, then.” He takes my hand, pulling me towards him. With my long dress gathering above my knees, I straddle his lap, putting us face to face. “I love you, Hallie Hart. I am in love with you, though I hope that doesn’t come as a surprise. Because if so, I’ve been doing something wrong all these years.” I shake my head, smiling. “No, you’ve been doing it all right. I’ve just been missing you, and it’s nice to hear it said.”

“We’re not hiding this anymore. I’m done pretending like we haven’t planned out our entire future. I’m done acting like you’re not mine.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders, smiling against his lips. “But I am yours.” “Damn right, you are.” “Mmm.” I teasingly kiss along his jaw. “And you’re mine.” “Always, Hal.”

“I love that dress on you, baby.” “Thank you. It’s⁠—” “Take it off.”

“I’m glad it’s you.” He breathes a small laugh before pressing his smiling lips to mine. “It’s always been you, Hallie.”

“And honestly, Hallie, I don’t want to start over with you. I want to accept that we went through some shit, you more than me. We hurt each other, and I made mistakes.” “I did too,” she cuts in. “And those mistakes changed us in certain ways, but in others, we’ve remained the exact same. It wouldn’t be our story if we ignored all the bad parts, so I’m not going to. I’m not going to run away because where could I go? Hallie, you’re in here.” I tap my chest. “Regardless of the years we spent apart, you’re still in here.”

“Are you sure that’s not just a first-love thing?” “No, baby. It’s a last-love thing.”

“The other night when I said I hoped that one day you’d let me fall in love with you again, what I meant to say was that I hope to earn the chance to fall in love with you again. And that’s not going to happen if I’m too busy regretting the past. So, yes. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and it’s probably going to take some time to fully forgive myself for it, but I don’t want to waste that time without you.” With both hands, I cup her jaw, sliding my fingers into her hair. “It’s always been you, Hallie, and I think we both know it.”

“Are you done?” “I’m done.” “Then you should probably kiss me now. We already lost six years. I don’t feel like wasting any more time.” I quickly agree. “I probably should.” Smiling, I lean down and press my mouth to hers and it feels like the biggest sigh of relief, the way our bodies melt into one another.

“Rio.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You should know. It’s always been you too.”

“It’s been an awfully long time, Rio. Are you sure you’re remembering correctly?” His brow furrows. “Did you not believe me when I told you I picture you whenever I’m getting myself off? Do you think I made up an image of what I thought you looked like? No. Your body has been ingrained in my mind since I got to see it for the first time when I was nineteen. I remember everything.”

“So yes, baby, I remember everything. Including all my favorite ways to make you come.” He runs his thumb over the lace of my bra. “I was staring because I can’t get over how innocent you look in white when we both know that you’re not.”

“Hallie,” Rio says tentatively. “Say something.” I can’t. I’m speechless. Because how am I supposed to speak when my eyes are glued to what is essentially my last name, tattooed as a heart, inked over his actual heart?

“In case you’re still wondering if I ever forgot about you,” he says softly, “I got this three years ago. Three years after I saw you last.” “Why?” “I’m pretty sure you know the answer to that, Hal.” “Tell me anyway.” I can’t stop running my fingers over it, pausing at the same point where he used to stop. It’s an exact replica of my handwriting and everything, clearly taken from one of those tapes or CDs. “Because it’s always been us.”

“Even when I thought I didn’t want it to be, I knew it was us. I sat there getting this permanently inked onto my skin, trying to convince myself I was only getting it as a reminder that love existed when the whole fucking time, I knew it only existed with you.”

He plants a hand on my hip, keeping me from moving as he looks down at me, his eyes bouncing between mine. “I don’t think you get what I’m trying to say. I haven’t had sex in a long time.” It’s the exact same sentence he already said, but the speed with which he repeats it tells me there’s an open door to ask. I’m cautious though, because most of me doesn’t want to know the answer. “How long is a long time?” He cradles my jaw, his thumb stroking over my cheekbone, and while his eyes are boring into mine, I look away, hoping I can keep my reaction neutral if I don’t have to see his face when he says it. “Six years.” My eyes shoot to his. “I’ve only ever been with you.”

“But you are, and sometimes I get nervous that because I’m part of your old life, I won’t fit into the new.” He’s quiet for a long moment before he says, “But you’re not just a part of my life. You’re the center of it. So, if something isn’t fitting around us, that piece needs to change, not you.”

“Girlfriend, huh?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you think we should take a couple more decades to get to know each other before I start calling you that?” “I just didn’t know I was, is all.” “I assumed this was another one of our unspoken things.” He drapes an arm over my shoulders as we continue walking. “But in case it needs to be said out loud… Yes, Hallie Hart, you are my girlfriend. Though, you should know, there’s a good chance I’ll be changing both that title and that last name one day.”

“Everyone,” Rio announces, “this is my girlfriend, Hallie. Be nice to her or I’ll literally never talk to you again.”

Rio lifts his stick in the air, pointing it in my direction, then tucks it under his arm to form his hands into a heart. And I don’t miss the way he lets one thumb overlap past the other to create a little extra piece, not letting it connect where it should.

“So, you like really like me, huh?” I tease quietly for only him to hear. “I think we both know it’s a little deeper than that, even if we’re still pretending it’s one of those unspoken things.” He turns to press a quick kiss to my lips. “And I have for fifteen years, Hal. You’ve had me hooked since the day you became the girl next door.”

“Do you remember why you said you kept track of those songs?” “Something about when I want to relive a moment, I can rewind it back and start from the beginning.” “Exactly. I want to rewind all of it, Hallie. I want to remember everything. You made sure we could remember our first years together, so I made sure we would remember this one.”

“Rio, playing for Boston is your childhood dream.” I shake my head. “You’re my childhood dream.”

“I love the city we live in. I love my team. I love my friends. And I love you. We lost six years, Hallie, and I’m not missing another day of you again.”