Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

My heart flutters like it used to before I remember everything that happened. Because I may have loved Rio DeLuca once, but I don’t anymore.

“I pick a song when something cool or important happens so I can remember it. Then when I want to relive a moment, I rewind it back and start the song from the beginning.”

She used to steal all my thoughts. She used to occupy my entire existence. I almost forgot what that felt like. I’ve spent six years subconsciously comparing every date to her. Comparing their laugh to hers. Their kindness to hers. Their confidence to hers. Their taste in music to hers.

That thing I’ve been looking for since I moved to Chicago? That connection? That one person some search their entire lives to find? I had already found her when I was twelve years old. At least, I thought I had. I know what I’m looking for because I had it once, and now the only girl I’ve ever loved is moving into the house next to mine. Again.

“The guy you were with tonight.” I slowly shift back to face her. “Who was he?” The set in her jaw is evident even from here. “Not your job to worry about.” Nodding, I turn back to my house, hands casually tucked in my pockets as I continue to walk. With my back to her, I make sure my words are loud enough for her to hear them. “Lose him.”

“It was the first time I realized that you may feel the same way about me as I’ve always felt about you.” It may be her birthday, but I swear, with that single sentence, she just made all my wishes come true.

“Spoiler alert, but she gives up her voice because she thought some random dude was hot. We’re strong independent women here. The only princess movies we’re going to watch are the ones where they realize they don’t need a man.”

“Because I’m going to kiss you and when we listen to next year’s playlist, I want this song to be on there so we can rewind it back however many times we want to and remember this.”

“And besides, you’ve got plenty of other people wearing your jersey in here.” I hold eye contact. “Kind of only care about one.”

Together, we round the hood of his car. Rio opens the passenger side door for me and right there, sitting on the seat, is a folded blanket and a small pillow. I spin on my heel to face him, and I don’t think it’s simply the chilly Chicago air that’s making his olive-toned skin flushed. “In case you wanted to get some sleep again.”

“You single, Hal?” I finally give him the long-awaited answer, nodding to tell him yes. “Good.” He takes a slow predatorial step towards me, tone sharp and leaving no room for question. “Because we aren’t fucking friends.”

Even when we’re fighting, even when I think about all the shitty things from the past, being with her feels like…home.

“You don’t think you’ll forget about me?” He bursts a laugh. “You truly have no idea how ingrained you are in here, huh?” He taps his chest. “You’re basically living rent free, Hallie Hart.” I burrow into him even more. “I wish you could see inside my head, Hal. You’d see the picture I’ve got painted of our future, and every part of it revolves around you, okay?” With his knuckle, he urges my chin up so I look at him. “It’s you and me. I promise.”

“You have every right to hate me, Hal. You have every right to believe that I forgot about you, but I didn’t. Not one day went by that I didn’t think of you. You were everywhere. In the music I listened to. In the house I live in. I tried to compare every single person I met to you, but there was no comparison. And I will spend the rest of my life regretting leaving you behind all those years ago.”

Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory, and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again.”

“Well, then.” He takes my hand, pulling me towards him. With my long dress gathering above my knees, I straddle his lap, putting us face to face. “I love you, Hallie Hart. I am in love with you, though I hope that doesn’t come as a surprise. Because if so, I’ve been doing something wrong all these years.”

“Are you sure that’s not just a first-love thing?” “No, baby. It’s a last-love thing.”

Because how am I supposed to speak when my eyes are glued to what is essentially my last name, tattooed as a heart, inked over his actual heart?

“Because it’s always been us.” With his knuckle, he tilts my chin up so I look at him. “Even when I thought I didn’t want it to be, I knew it was us. I sat there getting this permanently inked onto my skin, trying to convince myself I was only getting it as a reminder that love existed when the whole fucking time, I knew it only existed with you.”

“Making myself a latte.” “That’s my job.” He takes the almond milk from me at the same time he leans down and plants a soft kiss on my lips. “You were sleeping.” “Then you got out of bed. I think you know by now I only sleep when you’re next to me.”

“But what do you want?” she asks. “You,” I answer quickly. “I just want you.” “But you already have me.” “Then I’m happy.” “I’m happy too.” “Happy birthday, baby.” I sigh. “My favorite day of the year.”

“Girlfriend, huh?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you think we should take a couple more decades to get to know each other before I start calling you that?” “I just didn’t know I was, is all.” “I assumed this was another one of our unspoken things.” He drapes an arm over my shoulders as we continue walking. “But in case it needs to be said out loud… Yes, Hallie Hart, you are my girlfriend. Though, you should know, there’s a good chance I’ll be changing both that title and that last name one day.”

“Hi, baby.” My tone is cautious. “I missed you.” She simply raises a brow, as if she’s expecting me to explain myself. “So much?”

“Thank you for giving me the chance to do this,” she says quietly. “You basically let me design my dream home.” This is her dream home, and that’s the whole fucking point. I don’t know how she hasn’t put the pieces together yet, but that’s the final and most important reason why I won’t sell. Six years ago, even after things fell apart between us, I bought this house for her. It’s everything she told me she wanted, and there was a part of me that hoped if both it and I were here waiting for her, she’d somehow find her way home.

“The Wilder family is West Coast sports royalty,”

“When I got to training camp in Chicago, they asked me if I wanted to keep eighty-three, but I decided it was time to change it to my actual favorite day.” My birthday. March eighth. Thirty-eight. He’s been wearing my birthdate on his jersey for six years and I had no idea.

“I think we both know it’s a little deeper than that, even if we’re still pretending it’s one of those unspoken things.” He turns to press a quick kiss to my lips. “And I have for fifteen years, Hal. You’ve had me hooked since the day you became the girl next door.”

“I told your mom that I love you.” I can’t help the smile that slowly slides across my lips, or the way the skin around my eyes creases at the corners. Fuck, that feels good to hear. Of course, I already knew that Hallie loved me, but the words sound like music to my ears after not having the privilege of hearing them for six years. Like a form of music that I wish actually was a song, just so I could add it to our playlist.

“I know you love me, baby, and you know I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you.”

“Rio, playing for Boston is your childhood dream.” I shake my head. “You’re my childhood dream.”

You’re my home. Being loved by you for the rest of my life is the only dream of mine that’s never wavered. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m already exactly where I want to be.”

I watched Zanders strip the façade he wore for so long to allow the flight attendant on his team’s plane to see the real him. I watched Stevie learn to love herself the way the arrogant hockey player who followed her everywhere loves her. The way we all do. I watched Indy come out of a relationship she wasn’t meant for and learn to be loved in a new, quieter way. I watched Ryan allow someone into his home and his heart after shutting everyone else out for so long, only for the brightest ray of sunshine to move in and light every dark space she could touch. I watched Kai learn to ask for help, only for that help to come in the form of a firecracker pastry chef who taught him how to have fun again. I watched Miller stop running and grow deeper roots than she ever thought she could by falling in love with a single dad and his little boy. I watched Kennedy learn how to love and be loved thanks to her husband who refused to go a day without showering her with it. I watched Isaiah persist in showing his wife exactly who he was behind the smile, all while keeping his heart open for the only woman he wanted to have it. I watched Hallie, with so much goddamn pride, as her heart softened again. She forgave me while also continuing to stand up for herself along the way. And I…well, I found love because it was always out there, waiting for me, even when I questioned its existence. In fact, I found it right next door—where it had always been.