Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

Here’s to the 10 characters, 5 couples, 3 teams, 2 sets of siblings, and 1 amazing friend group that changed my life. This one is dedicated to you, the readers. Thank you for hanging out in Chicago with me.

I will not answer until every single person has asked about my well-being and I’m waiting on one…

Baby, that’s your cue. Ryan I’m not doing this. Miller He could be hurt or lost or stranded without food and water and we would never know because you won’t ask a simple question, Ryan. Isaiah I didn’t know the group adopted a puppy. Stevie He’s OUR puppy. Kennedy Our sweet little puppy that just wants to know if Ryan cares about him. Me … Ryan Fine. Rio, you back or what? Me Your care and concern for me hold no bounds. Honey, I’m home!

I haven’t spoken Hallie’s name in six years, but she has been living rent free in my mind while I try to replicate what we had before everything went to shit.

That thing I’ve been looking for since I moved to Chicago? That connection? That one person some search their entire lives to find? I had already found her when I was twelve years old.

I take my time choosing a song from the track list because I know this is a moment I’ll want to remember, and whichever song I choose is going to be one I put on next year’s mixtape because I’ll want to rewind it back and play it on repeat for a long time to come.

“Well, maybe that was the first time you were told, but I know for a fact it wasn’t the first time someone liked you.”

Fucking beautiful. She always has been though. But beyond that, I remember my other favorite things about her. She’s strong yet caring. Determined yet kind. There was a time when my absolute favorite thing in the world was to simply be with her. If I would allow myself to admit it, I missed Hallie Hart.

I don’t tell him that I don’t like almond milk. I only ordered it when we were younger because I knew he’d ask for a sip of my latte since he couldn’t handle the amount of caffeine if he ordered his own, and I didn’t want the dairy to bother him.

“Absolutely not, Tay.” Rio’s brows are pinched. “Spoiler alert, but she gives up her voice because she thought some random dude was hot. We’re strong independent women here. The only princess movies we’re going to watch are the ones where they realize they don’t need a man.”

Plain and simple, I missed Rio DeLuca. All tonight did was continue to prove that to me. I missed driving with him in his truck. I missed listening to music with him. I missed those seemingly insignificant moments, the ones where I look back and realize how important they were to me. The way tonight felt. Laughing with him again. Smiling with him again.

“Because I’m going to kiss you and when we listen to next year’s playlist, I want this song to be on there so we can rewind it back however many times we want to and remember this.”

Startling, the only sensation is warmth. Warmth from his mouth on mine. Warmth from the overwhelming presence of his body and the desperation in which he’s kissing me. Because it is desperate. It’s needy and it’s wanting. It feels like there are six years of wanting wrapped into this kiss.

Rio. Hallie. Don’t be needy. I have to get my job done. Needy is literally my number one personality trait.

And all that confusion, all that second-guessing is thrown out the window because I do know what I’m doing. I have only ever loved one person in my entire life and she’s here and fuck it, I don’t care about the rest.

But if I were to give you the whole truth, I’d tell you that even though I may have gone six years without seeing you, the thought of going two weeks now feels impossible. And no, I don’t have the answer for why that is, but I want a chance to figure it out.”

“Did you know that all my friends have gotten to have their person on the road with them at some point? Stevie used to travel with our team as a flight attendant. That’s how she and Zee met. Indy and Ryan met up when their team travel schedules overlapped. Miller spent a whole summer traveling with Kai and Max. And Kennedy, well she’s the doctor for Isaiah’s team, so they’re always together. After all this time, I just wanted my turn.”

“I understand why you’re hesitant or uninterested,” he whispers. “I’m not going to push you to want me. But I am going to be here, waiting, if you ever decide you want to try again. I’m not going anywhere this time.”

“Hallie, do you know why I’m not scared?” He holds up the mix CD. “It’s because I know I’ve got a lifetime of getting these from you. We’ve got a lifetime of best moments ahead of us.”

His eyes go wide. “And you’re here? Missing a game for this and everything?” “I don’t need to know what’s going on to know that she needs someone here for her.”

“You have every right to hate me, Hal. You have every right to believe that I forgot about you, but I didn’t. Not one day went by that I didn’t think of you. You were everywhere. In the music I listened to. In the house I live in. I tried to compare every single person I met to you, but there was no comparison. And I will spend the rest of my life regretting leaving you behind all those years ago.”

“This is why,” he says. “I didn’t have any other way to play the tapes and CDs, and not playing them wasn’t an option for me. For years, I’ve taken this fucking boombox everywhere with me. Held on to it, like if I could keep rewinding and replaying these moments we had, then maybe it wasn’t over.” He pulls a random cassette tape out of the box, running his thumb over the inked heart. “I don’t want it to be over, Hallie.”

“Well, I know that technically, these are your best memories, but they’re mine too. Meeting on that roof, listening to music. Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory, and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again.”

My attention bounces around the room to each of them. I’ve seen every single one of their relationships form from the beginning to now. I was on the plane the day Stevie met Zee. Indy stayed at my house in the few days she wasn’t sure Ryan saw a future with her or not. I still remember the night when we all figured out that Miller was in love with Kai, even if she hadn’t realized it herself. And Kennedy… Well, I watched Isaiah obsess over her for years before she married him.

God, she’s beautiful. Has she always been this beautiful? The easy answer is yes. I’ve known almost every iteration of this woman and have loved each version. She has been my favorite person since I was twelve, and fifteen years later, that hasn’t changed.

It wouldn’t be our story if we ignored all the bad parts, so I’m not going to. I’m not going to run away because where could I go? Hallie, you’re in here.” I tap my chest. “Regardless of the years we spent apart, you’re still in here.”

“Are you sure that’s not just a first-love thing?” “No, baby. It’s a last-love thing.”

“The other night when I said I hoped that one day you’d let me fall in love with you again, what I meant to say was that I hope to earn the chance to fall in love with you again. And that’s not going to happen if I’m too busy regretting the past. So, yes. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and it’s probably going to take some time to fully forgive myself for it, but I don’t want to waste that time without you.” With both hands, I cup her jaw, sliding my fingers into her hair. “It’s always been you, Hallie, and I think we both know it.”

“Rio.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You should know. It’s always been you too.”

can’t. I’m speechless. Because how am I supposed to speak when my eyes are glued to what is essentially my last name, tattooed as a heart, inked over his actual heart?

“Because it’s always been us.” With his knuckle, he tilts my chin up so I look at him. “Even when I thought I didn’t want it to be, I knew it was us. I sat there getting this permanently inked onto my skin, trying to convince myself I was only getting it as a reminder that love existed when the whole fucking time, I knew it only existed with you.”

She huffs a laugh, but it sounds as shocked and startled as I feel. “I’ve only ever been with you.” “Why?”

“Why did you wait?” she counters. Because I’ve only ever wanted to be with you.

How rare to find someone who understands and appreciates you for exactly who you are at each phase of your life. She liked me before anyone else ever did. She saw my potential when I couldn’t. She doesn’t give a shit about my job and that alone is refreshing. Fuck, she’s the reason I’m even playing hockey. If it wasn’t for her encouragement all those years ago, I would’ve quit a long time ago.

“You’re everything to me, Hallie. I’ve been addicted to you since I was a kid, and clearly nothing has changed. I don’t want to be without you again.”

“You’re not assuming anything.” I pull him down to kiss me. “I’m all in too. It’s you and me.” Again is what I’m tempted to say, but for good feels more accurate.

I don’t even have to ask to know that Indy is his closest friend here, and that Ryan, her husband, loves Rio but won’t admit it out loud.

The way they all speak about him—highly, while still giving him a bit of shit—makes it so clear how loved he is by these people. They seem like the definition of his people. Like they’d do anything for him.

“All of us met our husbands after they were already playing in the pros,” Miller says. “How do you feel, getting to see his career form from the beginning to this point?”

Still focused on him on the ice, I simply say, “Proud.”

So, while yes, I paid them off so you won’t have to worry about them anymore, I also paid them off for me.” Her stance shifts, softening from the defensive mode she was in. “Because I should’ve been there, Hallie. I should’ve been there to take care of it then, so I’m taking care of it now. And I need you to let me.”

“You like that you’re permanently under my skin.” “I love it. It feels like you’re branded and mine.” “That’s because I am.”

This is her dream home, and that’s the whole fucking point. I don’t know how she hasn’t put the pieces together yet, but that’s the final and most important reason why I won’t sell. Six years ago, even after things fell apart between us, I bought this house for her.

It’s everything she told me she wanted, and there was a part of me that hoped if both it and I were here waiting for her, she’d somehow find her way home.

“Indy,” Rio says, trying not to laugh. “What’s wrong?” I look over to find her brown eyes glossing over from her seat at the dinner table.

“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “This is just really nice. Everyone is here. It finally feels…complete.”

“She’s moving?” Ryan asks, outraged. “You had four years to tell us about her and her family and now she’s moving?” “Damn, Ry,” Indy teases. “Do you need him to get you an autograph or something?” “Yeah. Kinda.”

“When I got to training camp in Chicago, they asked me if I wanted to keep eighty-three, but I decided it was time to change it to my actual favorite day.” My birthday. March eighth. Thirty-eight. He’s been wearing my birthdate on his jersey for six years and I had no idea.

“I think we both know it’s a little deeper than that, even if we’re still pretending it’s one of those unspoken things.” He turns to press a quick kiss to my lips. “And I have for fifteen years, Hal. You’ve had me hooked since the day you became the girl next door.”

Those six years were their own kind of torture, and it would’ve made it a hell of a lot easier to go through if I knew this was the outcome. Me and her, for good. I’d rewind and relive every goddamn moment.