Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

Because she’s not her. No one else has been.

But it’s once again one of those situations where it doesn’t matter if I say all the wrong things, or hell, if I don’t say anything at all. At the end of the day, I’m a professional hockey player and that alone gets me more first dates and overnight invites than I let anyone know about. But I know what I’m looking for and this connection isn’t it.

There’s no denying she’s a beautiful girl, and if I were the type to bring someone home without seeing a future, maybe I would.

Me I will not answer until every single person has asked about my well-being and I’m waiting on one… Zanders Kai Some things never change. Indy Baby, that’s your cue. Ryan I’m not doing this. Miller He could be hurt or lost or stranded without food and water and we would never know because you won’t ask a simple question, Ryan. Isaiah I didn’t know the group adopted a puppy. Stevie He’s OUR puppy. Kennedy Our sweet little puppy that just wants to know if Ryan cares about him. Me … Ryan Fine. Rio, you back or what? Me Your care and concern for me hold no bounds. Honey, I’m home! Ryan I hate this. Me I know. The distance was hard for me too, Ryan. Ryan I’m leaving this group chat. He does for only a split second before his wife adds him back. Indy See you all at our place on Sunday!

Love the group chats & Rio's obsession with Ryan Shay

She wasn’t interested in what I’m looking for. But I don’t fill my friends in on how often I don’t scare them away. I don’t tell them just how often I try to friend zone myself and that doesn’t work. I let them believe that I’m some hopeless idiot with absolutely no game because that seems easier to explain than the fact that I’m twenty-seven years old and have never once hooked up with someone that I didn’t have a deep connection with. I’m a slow burner. Always have been. Shit, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was nineteen and even then, it was to a girl who I had known since I was twelve.

I remember the first time I ever saw him. He was playing hockey that day too, but so much has changed between then and now.

My heart flutters like it used to before I remember everything that happened. Because I may have loved Rio DeLuca once, but I don’t anymore.

“My brother will probably tell you not to be my friend.” “I don’t care. I’m friends with a lot of people. I can be his friend and your friend. Or we can be secret friends.”

God, she looked good. She always looked good, though, so that wasn’t much of a surprise.

I open my car door, not tearing my focus away from her because that’s not Mrs. Hart. Yes, her hair is shorter now, but besides that, she’s the spitting image of her mom. And then I hear myself say a name I haven’t spoken in six years. Because this time, I know for sure I’m not hallucinating. “Hallie?”

Oh, it’s her all right because I’ll never forget the way my heart used to skip a beat when she’d say my name. It takes everything in me to keep my arms at my side instead of wrapping them around her shoulders and pulling her into my chest like I used to, just to make sure she’s real.

Chocolate hair, with shimmers of lighter brown painted throughout, cuts bluntly below her chin. She used to keep it long, but it suits her this way. Now, it shows off that stunning face of hers. Soft freckles dot along the bridge of her nose. Her eyes that I remember being bright and kind now watch me with unease.

Regardless, she’s somehow even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, and that pisses me off. Because first off, how is that possible? And secondly, she fucked me over. Shouldn’t karma come into play here and give me a win?

She’s so goddamn beautiful. So hardheaded still. For a moment, I let myself remember how overwhelming it felt to be near her. She used to steal all my thoughts. She used to occupy my entire existence. I almost forgot what that felt like. I’ve spent six years subconsciously comparing every date to her. Comparing their laugh to hers. Their kindness to hers. Their confidence to hers. Their taste in music to hers.

haven’t spoken Hallie’s name in six years, but she has been living rent free in my mind while I try to replicate what we had before everything went to shit.

That thing I’ve been looking for since I moved to Chicago? That connection? That one person some search their entire lives to find? I had already found her when I was twelve years old. At least, I thought I had. I know what I’m looking for because I had it once, and now the only girl I’ve ever loved is moving into the house next to mine. Again.

“The guy you were with tonight.” I slowly shift back to face her. “Who was he?” The set in her jaw is evident even from here. “Not your job to worry about.” Nodding, I turn back to my house, hands casually tucked in my pockets as I continue to walk. With my back to her, I make sure my words are loud enough for her to hear them. “Lose him.”

🥵

I’ve always been attracted to Rio DeLuca, and it pisses me off that nothing has changed. Even during those awkward early years when everyone else saw him as a friend, I always saw him as more. Then he had himself a glow-up in the middle of high school, shot up about six inches, and finally those other girls saw what I always did.

But this version of him—twenty-seven years old and bulked up from the NHL—feels cruel to have to witness. He’s fucking gorgeous, but it doesn’t change that I still want to hate him.

Instead, I stop him by asking, “What’s up with the ancient boombox?” He rears back playfully. “Watch yourself, Hart. I believe the term you’re looking for is classic.”

and thus formed our little Chicago found family of nine. Yes, nine. Because everyone is paired up except for me.

“Can I listen to it?” That grabs my attention. “You want to listen to it?” “Yeah, and I want you to tell me what happened to make them important songs to you.” Oh.

😍

“Well, maybe that was the first time you were told, but I know for a fact it wasn’t the first time someone liked you.”

😍

“I’m surprised you remember anything about us, really. You didn’t seem to give a shit about our history the last time we saw each other.”

“One minute you’re being the old you, and the next you’re being a jerk. Then you keep bringing up the past. Pick a lane, Rio! The back-and-forth is exhausting. I’m just trying to do my job and have a working relationship with you, but you’re not letting me. At this point, I’d rather lose out on this opportunity than spend the next six months getting mental whiplash from being around you.”

“You used to be my best friend, and yeah, we haven’t seen each other since then, but I’d rather hold on to the memory of the sweet neighbor boy I loved than replace it with this version of you.”

His eyes trail up and down my body, looking at my clothes and clearly trying to figure out where I’ve been. I’m not stupid. I know he assumed I had a date tonight, but I’m also not going to correct him. The man is a professional hockey player, loves his mom, and looks like that. I’m not naïve enough to think other women don’t see what I always did, nor am I going to try to convince myself that he’s not actively dating.

😂

I look back over my shoulder at him. “Good night, friend.” He grimaces. “Yep. Don’t love that.” I chuckle, unlocking the front door. “Good night, Rio.” He stays there, hands in his pockets, watching me go inside. “Night, Hal.”

I thought he was the cutest boy I’d ever met back when he was shorter, had acne, wore braces, and didn’t have a natural athletic bone in his body. But now? Good God. If I allowed myself to look at him in that way again and wasn’t jaded from the past six years, I’d be in trouble.

Because we’re friends. I could laugh at the thought. We’re not friends. We’re just trying not to kill each other. And personally, I’m trying not to rip off his clothes.

“Well…” I stumble. “Are you sure you’re ready for this meeting? Do you want to, I don’t know, put a shirt on?” His playful smirk lifts way too fast. “Nothing you haven’t seen before, Hart.” “Please stop talking.” “You were the one looking.” I straighten my spine. “Can we get to work now, friend?” That knowing smile grows. “Sure. Come on in, friend.”

It feels like a drug, being this close to him, one that I used to be highly addicted to. God, I missed him.

“He didn’t need to bring it,” I tell her. “I had my own that he could use. Great taste in music even then. A lot of R&B during those times, if I remember correctly. And by those times, yes, I’m referring to those times.”

“I’m going to do it!” His tipsy grin is way too big. “I’m going to go ask for her number.” “Hey, Rook?” He looks my way, so stupidly excited. “Yeah?” “Sit the fuck down.” “Yep.”

Her jaw hardens. “What’s going on is that we’re two completely different people now. I work five shifts a week here, after my full days at the design firm, because that’s what I have to do to make ends meet. I’m sleeping in someone else’s spare room, because that’s what I can manage, and I can barely afford to feed myself. Does that make you happy to hear?” “Jesus. Of course not, Hal.”

“Don’t let him call you that,” I say quietly. “He doesn’t fucking know you.” She lifts a brow. “And you think you still do?” “Yeah, Hal. I still know you. And you still know me. Better than anyone.”

“Yeah, well you’re not his, so tell him to keep his hands to himself too.” Her eyes drop to my mouth. “I’m not yours either.” We’ll see.

I wet my lips, leaning in awfully close. “You sure look good in my shirt for not being mine.” “Get fucked, DeLuca.” I smile as I open the door. “Would love to. You just let me know when and where, Hart.”

“I want to hate that guy,” I tell her, meeting her at her car, but keeping my eye on his retreating back. “Do you work with him every night?” “Most nights. If I’m not working with him, I’m working with his boyfriend.”

lol

So yeah, plenty of other guys at school have their eye on her, which makes the times Hallie has her eye on me all that more satisfying.

sweet baby Rio

“I’m serious, Hallie. Guys my age are only after one thing, and I’m sure as hell not letting any of my friends near you when I know what’s on their mind.” I’m not after only one thing from Hallie. I’m after everything with her, but still, it feels like he’s reminding me to not go there, though Luke has no idea of my feelings for his sister.

Without overthinking it, I open my hand and intertwine my fingers with hers. She stills for a moment, before curling her fingers around mine, putting us palm to palm.

I’m too distracted, too focused on what’s happening between us to concentrate on driving. Thankfully, we’re on a backroad and not the interstate, so I pull my truck off to the side of the road, coming to a full stop.

“What’s wrong?” Hallie asks. With my foot firmly on the brake, I’m finally able to fully look in her direction. “I promised your dad I’d be careful driving you, and I’m too distracted to be careful.”

“You’re a good friend to her, Rio.” “Yeah.” “And to Luke.” “Mm-hmm.” “But have you told him that you’re in love with his sister?” That earns my attention. “Ma!” “What?” she asks behind a fit of laughter. “Well, it’s true.”

“Oh, Tesoro.” She exhales deeply to stop her laughter. “Yes, it is. I see the way you look at her. I’m just surprised Luke hasn’t noticed it yet.”

“Hey, Ma?” “Yeah?” “Am I really that obvious, or are you just saying that?” She cackles. Wildly. Like a woman who downed two bottles of wine with her husband and best friends. “Rio, if you had ‘I’m in love with Hallie Hart’ tattooed across your forehead, it might be a little more subtle.”

“Well, I was ten years old when I got to choose my number for the first time, and I didn’t know what to choose, so I picked my favorite day. I thought I was so cool picking my birthday. Eighty-three. August third. It’s stuck ever since. Can’t imagine having a different number now.”

“No one else draws their hearts like this, so every time I see one, I know it’s you. That’s why I like them so much.”

💖

“And what happened that was so important when you heard it?” I already know the answer, but I want to hear her say it. She smiles down at me softly. “It was the first time I realized that you may feel the same way about me as I’ve always felt about you.” It may be her birthday, but I swear, with that single sentence, she just made all my wishes come true.

😍