Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

I don’t fill my friends in on how often I don’t scare them away. I don’t tell them just how often I try to friend zone myself and that doesn’t work. I let them believe that I’m some hopeless idiot with absolutely no game because that seems easier to explain than the fact that I’m twenty-seven years old and have never once hooked up with someone that I didn’t have a deep connection with. I’m a slow burner. Always have been. Shit, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was nineteen and even then, it was to a girl who I had known since I was twelve.

My heart flutters like it used to before I remember everything that happened. Because I may have loved Rio DeLuca once, but I don’t anymore.

“I pick a song when something cool or important happens so I can remember it. Then when I want to relive a moment, I rewind it back and start the song from the beginning.”

She used to steal all my thoughts. She used to occupy my entire existence. I almost forgot what that felt like. I’ve spent six years subconsciously comparing every date to her. Comparing their laugh to hers. Their kindness to hers. Their confidence to hers. Their taste in music to hers.

That thing I’ve been looking for since I moved to Chicago? That connection? That one person some search their entire lives to find? I had already found her when I was twelve years old. At least, I thought I had. I know what I’m looking for because I had it once, and now the only girl I’ve ever loved is moving into the house next to mine. Again.

“The guy you were with tonight.” I slowly shift back to face her. “Who was he?” The set in her jaw is evident even from here. “Not your job to worry about.” Nodding, I turn back to my house, hands casually tucked in my pockets as I continue to walk. With my back to her, I make sure my words are loud enough for her to hear them. “Lose him.”

I take my time choosing a song from the track list because I know this is a moment I’ll want to remember, and whichever song I choose is going to be one I put on next year’s mixtape because I’ll want to rewind it back and play it on repeat for a long time to come.

“Well, maybe that was the first time you were told, but I know for a fact it wasn’t the first time someone liked you.”

“You used to be my best friend, and yeah, we haven’t seen each other since then, but I’d rather hold on to the memory of the sweet neighbor boy I loved than replace it with this version of you.”

I want to sleep right here, wearing my beer-scented clothes and god-awful nonslip shoes.

I do NOT miss the shoes 😵‍💫

“You single, Hal?” I finally give him the long-awaited answer, nodding to tell him yes. “Good.” He takes a slow predatorial step towards me, tone sharp and leaving no room for question. “Because we aren’t fucking friends.”

Rio, just so you know, I’m going to be so annoyed with you if this whole thing ends up being the epitome of the phrase, ‘it could’ve been an email.’”

“Are you out of your mind? Just because I need you to be mine before I fuck you doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle.”

“I understand why you’re hesitant or uninterested,” he whispers. “I’m not going to push you to want me. But I am going to be here, waiting, if you ever decide you want to try again. I’m not going anywhere this time.”

“Don’t be shy, Hallie. Say it how it is.

“Well, I know that technically, these are your best memories, but they’re mine too. Meeting on that roof, listening to music. Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory, and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again.”

“Are you sure that’s not just a first-love thing?”

“No, baby. It’s a last-love thing.”

“The other night when I said I hoped that one day you’d let me fall in love with you again, what I meant to say was that I hope to earn the chance to fall in love with you again. And that’s not going to happen if I’m too busy regretting the past. So, yes. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and it’s probably going to take some time to fully forgive myself for it, but I don’t want to waste that time without you.” With both hands, I cup her jaw, sliding my fingers into her hair. “It’s always been you, Hallie, and I think we both know it.”

“Rio.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You should know. It’s always been you too.”

“Six years.”

“I’ve only ever been with you.”

“Don’t tease me, DeLuca. It’s my turn. Get on your knees and get to work.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A desperate sound escapes her before one hand slaps over her mouth, the other fisted in the sheets. “Take your hand away.”

“I’m too loud.”

“I don’t give a fuck. This is my house. We aren’t hiding shit here. Scream all you want. I want to...

I spill into her while chanting her name like a fucking prayer against her lips. Which is fitting, because she feels like my answered prayer. And as we come down together, I make sure to tell her that.

“I thought it was another one of those unspoken things.” Reaching up, she wraps her arms around my neck. “But it shouldn’t be. It should be said as much as possible. Because I love you, Rio. I have loved you since we were children, and I will love you until we’re old and gray. But if you didn’t already know that, then I’ve been doing something wrong.”

“I know you love me, baby, and you know I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you.”

“Not once,” she...

We are rare. What we have is rare and I’m going to spend the rest of my life protecting it.

“I love you, Hallie Hart. Spoken or unspoken, I’ve always loved you.”

I spent years complaining about being the single one of the group, the odd man out. But even though I was the last one, how lucky am I that I got a front-row seat to watch each of my best friends fall in love? I watched Zanders strip the façade he wore for so long to allow the flight attendant on his team’s plane to see the real him. I watched Stevie learn to love herself the way the arrogant hockey player who followed her everywhere loves her. The way we all do. I watched Indy come out of a relationship she wasn’t meant for and learn to be loved in a new, quieter way. I watched Ryan allow someone into his home and his heart after shutting everyone else out for so long, only for the brightest ray of sunshine to move in and light every dark space she could touch. I watched Kai learn to ask for help, only for that help to come in the form of a firecracker pastry chef who taught him how to have fun again. I watched Miller stop running and grow deeper roots than she ever thought she could by falling in love with a single dad and his little boy. I watched Kennedy learn how to love and be loved thanks to her husband who refused to go a day without showering her with it. I watched Isaiah persist in showing his wife exactly who he was behind the smile, all while keeping his heart open for the only woman he wanted to have it. I watched Hallie, with so much goddamn pride, as her heart softened again. She forgave me while also continuing to stand up for herself along the way. A...