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“I wish you could see inside my head, Hal. You’d see the picture I’ve got painted of our future, and every part of it revolves around you, okay?” With his knuckle, he urges my chin up so I look at him. “It’s you and me. I promise.”
I may cringe a bit when we listen to it together later and he realizes that every single song is from a moment with him, but that’s okay. He was a part of all my best memories this year, just like he is most years. Any memories I wish I could rewind and relive are all the ones he and I have had over the years, growing up together. Learning each other. Falling for each other.
I take my time toweling off, but I’m sure to put my shirt on before I get too close to the door. Yes, it’s been on my mind for a couple of weeks now that it’s probably time to start letting Hallie know just how much I haven’t forgotten about her in all these years, but that needs to be done slowly with baby steps.
A SECRET TATTOO????
Hallie. Always Hallie. That’s where my mind circles back to every time I’m alone and it’s quiet enough to think.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I never cry over this kind of stuff. I’m just tired is all.” “It’s okay to be tired.” His voice goes soft. “It’s okay to be scared too.” The permission has more tears falling. Because yeah, that’s exactly how I’ve spent the last six years, and I’ve never been able to tell someone.
I lean my head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe you kept them all this time.” “Well, I know that technically, these are your best memories, but they’re mine too. Meeting on that roof, listening to music. Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory, and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again.”
“That story makes me want to go home and see Isaiah.” Kennedy leans her head on her sister-in-law’s shoulder. “Then ask him why he only pursued me for three years before we got married when he should’ve started thinking about me at the age of twelve.”
God, she’s beautiful. Has she always been this beautiful? The easy answer is yes. I’ve known almost every iteration of this woman and have loved each version. She has been my favorite person since I was twelve, and fifteen years later, that hasn’t changed.
“The other night when I said I hoped that one day you’d let me fall in love with you again, what I meant to say was that I hope to earn the chance to fall in love with you again. And that’s not going to happen if I’m too busy regretting the past. So, yes. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and it’s probably going to take some time to fully forgive myself for it, but I don’t want to waste that time without you.” With both hands, I cup her jaw, sliding my fingers into her hair. “It’s always been you, Hallie, and I think we both know it.”
“Rio.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You should know. It’s always been you too.”
“Hallie,” Rio says tentatively. “Say something.” I can’t. I’m speechless. Because how am I supposed to speak when my eyes are glued to what is essentially my last name, tattooed as a heart, inked over his actual heart?
HELL YEAHHHH
“What’s this song from?” I ask as the next one begins to play through the boombox speakers. “You don’t remember? This is the song you played right before our first time.” “I remember. I just like to hear you tell me about each one. And I’m glad this song made the cut. I’ll happily rewind it back and replay that night over and over again.”
“I want to start our lives now,” I continue. “I want to buy us a house. One that’s all ours. I want you to be at every one of my home games. And though I’m glad I get to see you once a month now, I spend all the days in between waiting for these ones. I don’t want to be away from you anymore.”
“So,” she begins excitedly. “What kind of house are you going to buy us?” I chuckle at the change of subject. “What kind of house do you want?” “A big one. With four or five bedrooms that we can fill with kids one day.” I can’t wait for that. I can’t wait to marry her either.
I’m having a hard time holding back my smile as I listen. “Is this house in the city or in the suburbs?” “It depends on where we end up, I suppose. But ideally, we’d live a short drive from downtown so you can get to work, but in a family area that’s a bit quieter. Like the neighborhood we grew up in back home.”
HE LITERALLY LIVES IN THE HOUSE SHES DESCRIBING
“But what do you want?” she asks. “You,” I answer quickly. “I just want you.” “But you already have me.” “Then I’m happy.” “I’m happy too.”
“Thank you for doing that.” His eyes bounce between mine, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over the way he looks at me. It’s the same way he would look at me when we were younger. “Anything for you, Hal.”
“But we’re going to be fine either way,” I tack on. “After everything we’ve been through to make it back to this point, a bit of distance while you’re in season isn’t going to break us. You need to chase your dreams, like I’m chasing mine.” His lips tilt into an understanding smile. “I just don’t want the idea of chasing my dreams to mean that I’m losing you again.” “It doesn’t. I promise.”
His voice is soft. “Why does that make you feel nervous, Hal?” “I don’t know.” “Yes, you do.” I huff a small laugh because what’s the use in lying to this guy? He knows me too well. “I think because for six years, I watched your life move into this new, impressive phase. You have all these new people around. I mean, you’re literally famous now.” “Gross.” “But you are, and sometimes I get nervous that because I’m part of your old life, I won’t fit into the new.” He’s quiet for a long moment before he says, “But you’re not just a part of my life. You’re the center of it. So, if something
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Rio parks in the private lot behind the arena. He opens my door for me and immediately slips his fingers through mine as he leads me to the private entrance.
men whose love language is physical touch >>>>>
“So,” I begin. “Girlfriend, huh?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you think we should take a couple more decades to get to know each other before I start calling you that?” “I just didn’t know I was, is all.” “I assumed this was another one of our unspoken things.” He drapes an arm over my shoulders as we continue walking. “But in case it needs to be said out loud… Yes, Hallie Hart, you are my girlfriend. Though, you should know, there’s a good chance I’ll be changing both that title and that last name one day.”
YES SIR
But before he opens the door, he turns to face me. “I know this is just another in-season game and there’s not much significance to it for anyone else, but it feels significantly more important now that you’re here. You should’ve been at my very first pro game, Hal. But seeing you in my jersey again?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “It feels nostalgic. Finding you in the crowd was always my favorite part of my high school games.” I lightly laugh. “You never told me that.” “Every week I looked forward to game day like it was Christmas morning because I viewed it as my chance to impress you.
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The way they all speak about him—highly, while still giving him a bit of shit—makes it so clear how loved he is by these people. They seem like the definition of his people. Like they’d do anything for him.
Rio lifts his stick in the air, pointing it in my direction, then tucks it under his arm to form his hands into a heart. And I don’t miss the way he lets one thumb overlap past the other to create a little extra piece, not letting it connect where it should.
“That boy is so in love with you,” Indy states. Spoken or unspoken, I feel the exact same way.
It’s not like Hallie is asking me to choose between them. Shit, she doesn’t even know how bad it’s been between me and my mom lately. But if there ever comes a time that I need to choose which relationship to keep safe, I won’t make the same mistake twice. I’ll choose Hallie every time. I just hope my own mother doesn’t put me in that situation.
“Thank you for giving me the chance to do this,” she says quietly. “You basically let me design my dream home.” This is her dream home, and that’s the whole fucking point. I don’t know how she hasn’t put the pieces together yet, but that’s the final and most important reason why I won’t sell. Six years ago, even after things fell apart between us, I bought this house for her. It’s everything she told me she wanted, and there was a part of me that hoped if both it and I were here waiting for her, she’d somehow find her way home.
Realization finally dawns on me. I forgot that his old number was his birthdate. Which means his new number is… “When I got to training camp in Chicago, they asked me if I wanted to keep eighty-three, but I decided it was time to change it to my actual favorite day.” My birthday. March eighth. Thirty-eight. He’s been wearing my birthdate on his jersey for six years and I had no idea.
“Hallie, do you remember the very first day we met, and you were listening to music? You had to finish the song before you could talk to me.” She smiles to herself. “Of course.” “Do you remember why you said you kept track of those songs?” “Something about when I want to relive a moment, I can rewind it back and start from the beginning.” “Exactly. I want to rewind all of it, Hallie. I want to remember everything. You made sure we could remember our first years together, so I made sure we would remember this one.”
She looks up at me. “What happened while you were listening to this song?” I smile at her softly. “This is the song I was listening to when I signed my contract extension with the Chicago Raptors.”
“Rio, playing for Boston is your childhood dream.” I shake my head. “You’re my childhood dream.” Her lips part without words. “Some dreams have changed, but others have remained the same.” I brush her hair behind her ear. “I love the city we live in. I love my team. I love my friends. And I love you. We lost six years, Hallie, and I’m not missing another day of you again.”
Her brows crease with worry. “If it’s about me staying in Chicago, I don’t have to. I can come with you. I don’t want you to give up the chance to play for your hometown team for me.” “Playing for Chicago feels like I’m playing for my hometown because it is my home now. You’re my home. Being loved by you for the rest of my life is the only dream of mine that’s never wavered. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m already exactly where I want to be.”
Hallie leans in and kisses me, whispering against my lips, “How lucky am I to have been loved by you for fifteen years now?” “What do you say we get to work on making that number so high we start losing track?” She smiles against my mouth. “I think we can do that.” “Happy birthday, baby.” “Thank you for making it my favorite one yet.”
My smile blooms as I look down at her. I truly could not love this woman more than I already do. But I thought that yesterday and the day before. Shit, I thought that a decade ago, and daily, I’m proven wrong. Because each new day, I fall for her a little more.
I feel so incredibly blessed that I get to go through life with these nine people. Besides Indy, we’re all a bunch of transplants from other places who found a home in the windy city…and with each other. I’ll speak for all ten of us when I say, there’s nowhere else we’d rather be.
