Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

I’m a slow burner. Always have been. Shit, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was nineteen and even then, it was to a girl who I had known since I was twelve.

My heart flutters like it used to before I remember everything that happened. Because I may have loved Rio DeLuca once, but I don’t anymore.

I’ve spent six years subconsciously comparing every date to her. Comparing their laugh to hers. Their kindness to hers. Their confidence to hers. Their taste in music to hers.

“The guy you were with tonight.” I slowly shift back to face her. “Who was he?” The set in her jaw is evident even from here. “Not your job to worry about.” Nodding, I turn back to my house, hands casually tucked in my pockets as I continue to walk. With my back to her, I make sure my words are loud enough for her to hear them. “Lose him.”

“Well, I’m going to leave you two to whatever the hell is making this moment so awkward,”

“Five minutes and it feels like that again, like nothing happened. Imagine six months. I don’t want it to be like that again. After everything, it can’t.”

Sometimes, with the guys, we tend to shoot the shit and laugh off the hard stuff too quickly. But when I need to discuss a tough topic, I tend to find that I get a more empathetic and understanding approach from the women in my life.

I take my time choosing a song from the track list because I know this is a moment I’ll want to remember, and whichever song I choose is going to be one I put on next year’s mixtape because I’ll want to rewind it back and play it on repeat for a long time to come.

“Well, maybe that was the first time you were told, but I know for a fact it wasn’t the first time someone liked you.”

I don’t ask for clarification and instead, decide to overthink that single sentence for the rest of my life.

And as if on instinct, my own body is bunched in anticipation, waiting to see what she needs, even though every fiber of my being would like to believe I don’t give a shit.

Being known, even if it is just the basics, feels nice.

“You used to be my best friend, and yeah, we haven’t seen each other since then, but I’d rather hold on to the memory of the sweet neighbor boy I loved than replace it with this version of you.”

It’s the middle of the night so I should probably have some sense of fear, but I’m not scared in the slightest. I’d recognize him anywhere.

“Good night, friend.” He grimaces. “Yep. Don’t love that.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for this meeting? Do you want to, I don’t know, put a shirt on?” His playful smirk lifts way too fast. “Nothing you haven’t seen before, Hart.” “Please stop talking.” “You were the one looking.”

It feels like a drug, being this close to him, one that I used to be highly addicted to.

“Don’t worry,” he says. “It’s just my friend, Indy.” “I’m not worrying.” “Tell your face that, Hal.”

“Yeah, well you’re not his, so tell him to keep his hands to himself too.” Her eyes drop to my mouth. “I’m not yours either.” We’ll see.

“You sure look good in my shirt for not being mine.” “Get fucked, DeLuca.” I smile as I open the door. “Would love to. You just let me know when and where, Hart.”

I take note of the song that’s playing and keep on driving.

Because yes, I have a huge freaking crush on the girl and want to know about all the songs that represent important moments in her life.

“Honey, when are you going to learn that I know everything?”

“Rio, if you had ‘I’m in love with Hallie Hart’ tattooed across your forehead, it might be a little more subtle.”

“You drive me insane, you know that?” “Hmm,” he hums. “That makes two of us, love.”

“You single, Hal?” I finally give him the long-awaited answer, nodding to tell him yes. “Good.” He takes a slow predatorial step towards me, tone sharp and leaving no room for question. “Because we aren’t fucking friends.”

“I’m not going to bite, Hal. Well, unless you ask me to.”

Just because I need you to be mine before I fuck you doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle.”

“I thought sex was off the table?” “It is. I’m not fucking you. I’m just fucking my fist thinking of you.”

I’ve never forgotten this girl, not even for a second, and it’s about time she knows that.

But he was scared himself, so I pretended I wasn’t, and I’ve been pretending ever since.

Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory, and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again.”

“I’m glad it’s you.” He breathes a small laugh before pressing his smiling lips to mine. “It’s always been you, Hallie.”

“She’s not going to forgive me.” “Honey,” Indy coos. “I saw the way she looked at you the night she helped watch the kids. She already has. It sounds like the only person who hasn’t forgiven you is you.”

“It’s always been you, Hallie, and I think we both know it.”

“Rio.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You should know. It’s always been you too.”

“Because it’s always been us.” With his knuckle, he tilts my chin up so I look at him. “Even when I thought I didn’t want it to be, I knew it was us. I sat there getting this permanently inked onto my skin, trying to convince myself I was only getting it as a reminder that love existed when the whole fucking time, I knew it only existed with you.”

“I’ve only ever been with you.”

“Do you realize how unfair it’d be if I actually got in a relationship with someone else? When all I think about is you? When I compared every person to you? There was no comparison to you.”

“I’m thinking that you should probably fuck me now. I’ve been awfully patient.”

“I don’t give a fuck. This is my house. We aren’t hiding shit here. Scream all you want. I want to hear what I’m doing to you.”

The noises coming out of this woman’s mouth are going to haunt me in my dreams in the best way possible.

“Well, they know me and how I feel about you, so whether you like it or not, you’re already part of the group. I’m pretty sure the girls are ready to ban me from girls’ nights in hopes that you’ll start joining instead.”

I make a mental note of those items because if there’s one thing I’m going to do, it’s make sure this girl gets everything she wants in life.

“But what do you want?” she asks. “You,” I answer quickly. “I just want you.”

“Everyone,” Rio announces, “this is my girlfriend, Hallie. Be nice to her or I’ll literally never talk to you again.”

“Rio, playing for Boston is your childhood dream.” I shake my head. “You’re my childhood dream.”

“The house has always been yours, Hallie. Ours. It was just waiting for you to come make it a home.”

“How lucky am I to have been loved by you for fifteen years now?”