Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

But I’ve never been anyone but myself with Hallie. Smooth, awkward, it didn’t matter. That’s part of the beauty of us growing up together, I guess. We’ve always known exactly who the other is.

It was fun learning together. Teaching each other.

She was my first. She taught me how to do it. We learned together by learning each other.

told he’d have to do it all over again. Hope is a dangerous thing, and I learned to stop hoping a while ago. Unfortunately, I let my defenses down, and spent the last few weeks letting hope sneak its way in again, making me believe that not only do I get to finally start living my own life, but that there’s a possibility I could have Rio with me while I do.

In a way, it gets easier to receive the same bad news. There isn’t a fear of the unknown looming over me. There aren’t a million questions I have rattling in my brain. I already know the steps to take. I know the emotional toll that’s coming, but I also know how to control myself from breaking down or showing my fear. I’ll make a plan. We’ll get him back into treatment. I’ll handle it.

I was only nineteen the first time we found out my dad was sick, and the one person I wanted comfort from was him because that’s how it works. Parents take care of their children. Then suddenly, I was taking care of him. I wanted to cry and tell him how scared I was. I wanted to admit everything I was worried about so he could tell me not to be. But he was scared himself, so I pretended I wasn’t, and I’ve been pretending ever since.

While yes, Luke has had a sick parent for as long as I have, we’ve had very different experiences. In a way, he was able to separate himself, living out of state and not having to see the daily decline the way I witnessed it firsthand.

“How long is a long time?” He cradles my jaw, his thumb stroking over my cheekbone, and while his eyes are boring into mine, I look away, hoping I can keep my reaction neutral if I don’t have to see his face when he says it. “Six years.” My eyes shoot to his. “I’ve only ever been with you.”

My throat goes thick. “I didn’t, and I have regretted that choice since. It not only lost me him, but it lost me you. I can’t change it, but I’m hoping if I can explain why I didn’t say something at the time, you might understand.” Her jaw tics as she processes.

But everything changed last night when my parents sat me and my brother down to tell us that my dad has cancer. A few days ago, the idea of living a thousand miles away from my parents seemed like no big deal. But today, that distance feels unfathomable.

It’s the most peace I’ve ever felt, Hallie coming back into my life. To know that I’m loved, long before hearing the words again. To feel it in every fiber of my being. To see it in the way she looks at me. To hear it in the way she speaks to and about me. We are rare. What we have is rare and I’m going to spend the rest of my life protecting it.