Rewind It Back (Windy City, #5)

by Liz Tomforde

“I pick a song when something cool or important happens so I can remember it. Then when I want to relive a moment, I rewind it back and start the song from the beginning.”

It had to be her. I’d recognize that face anywhere. Those hazel eyes. That wavy hair, which is so much shorter than it used to be. It may have been six years since I last saw her, but I’d never forget.

She’s so goddamn beautiful. So hardheaded still. For a moment, I let myself remember how overwhelming it felt to be near her. She used to steal all my thoughts. She used to occupy my entire existence. I almost forgot what that felt like. I’ve spent six years subconsciously comparing every date to her. Comparing their laugh to hers. Their kindness to hers. Their confidence to hers. Their taste in music to hers.

That thing I’ve been looking for since I moved to Chicago? That connection? That one person some search their entire lives to find? I had already found her when I was twelve years old.

I’ve always been attracted to Rio DeLuca, and it pisses me off that nothing has changed. Even during those awkward early years when everyone else saw him as a friend, I always saw him as more.

But this version of him—twenty-seven years old and bulked up from the NHL—feels cruel to have to witness. He’s fucking gorgeous,

I’ve had a soft spot for Hallie Hart since the day I met her, and as my resolve slips away, I realize that softness hasn’t changed one bit in the years since I last saw her.

“Luke got you a friendship bracelet kit,” he says. “Do you want to make those?” I chuckle. “You don’t want to do that.” He smiles at my laughter. “I do! But you need to teach me how.” “Really?” “Absolutely. I’ll make you one for your birthday.”

“Well, maybe that was the first time you were told, but I know for a fact it wasn’t the first time someone liked you.”

Reaching between us, I find the leg of her chair and pull, bringing her seat flush to mine.

But whatever it is, it makes me reach out and cover the imperfection of the heart with the tip of my forefinger. I swear all the oxygen leaves the room. She stares at my finger and in that moment, I know that every birthday she had from ages thirteen to nineteen are currently running through her mind.

“I’m still mad at you, Hallie, but I also don’t want to spend the next however many months trying to be a dick to you. It doesn’t feel right.” That, surprisingly, makes my lips twitch with a grin. He narrows his gaze at me, but I watch the smile start to stretch on his own mouth. “Don’t laugh at me, Hal.” “I knew you were trying your hardest to be mean.” I chuckle. “It needs some work, by the way. You trying to be a dick. Lacks consistency.” That boyish smile turns up on the corners of his lips. “I know.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for this meeting? Do you want to, I don’t know, put a shirt on?” His playful smirk lifts way too fast. “Nothing you haven’t seen before, Hart.” “Please stop talking.” “You were the one looking.” I straighten my spine. “Can we get to work now, friend?”

“Yeah, Hal. I still know you. And you still know me. Better than anyone.”

“Yeah, well you’re not his, so tell him to keep his hands to himself too.” Her eyes drop to my mouth. “I’m not yours either.” We’ll see.

“You sure look good in my shirt for not being mine.”

“Get fucked, DeLuca.” I smile as I open the door. “Would love to. You just let me know when and where, Hart.”

But all it does is make my smile grow because Hallie can pretend to be unaffected by me, by us, by our history, but she’s still wearing my shirt when she gets back to work and looks damn good in it.

I don’t know what to say other than something stupid about how much I missed her, or how I might not be as mad as I thought I was, or how the bedroom she’s going to be designing, I had only ever pictured sharing it with her.

Her eyes are all sparkly as she looks up at me, and I take it in. There’s nothing I crave more than these moments when she has her attention on me.

I’ve never looked at a girl the way I look at Hallie.

“It was the first time I realized that you may feel the same way about me as I’ve always felt about you.”

I missed him. Plain and simple, I missed Rio DeLuca.

They have no idea how often we meet on the roof, where she lays on my chest and I play with her hair while we simply talk. Or how I sleep in her room most nights—on the floor, but still. They have no idea that me saying I like her doesn’t exactly encompass how I actually feel about the girl.

“I already told you, Hal. I missed you.”

“Good.” He takes a slow predatorial step towards me, tone sharp and leaving no room for question. “Because we aren’t fucking friends.” With that declaration, he grips the side of my neck and slams his mouth onto mine.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed to let people know how hard you’re willing to work to get what you want.”

He’s right about that. I am willing to work hard. I’ve been willing to work hard since I decided to make sacrifices to help my dad. Since I had to drop out of school and figure out how to get an education from home.

I don’t know what the hell happened or when it all shifted so dramatically. Maybe it was having her in my home for the first time, or when she helped watch my friends’ kids. Or maybe it’s the culmination of the time we’ve been spending together that’s reminded me of how much I missed her. Missed us. But the things I was so angry about only a month or two ago now seem inconsequential and unimportant.

There’s this nagging part of me that’s questioning whether the homesickness I’ve felt for years now has been for Boston or if it’s actually been for her.

And all that confusion, all that second-guessing is thrown out the window because I do know what I’m doing. I have only ever loved one person in my entire life and she’s here and fuck it, I don’t care about the rest. I want to know if this could be something. If we could ever forgive each other. If we could ever try again.

Hallie can call this a work meeting all she wants, but I’ll call it as it is. It’s a date. A chance to see if this thing could be real again.

“Try to remember that this is a work meeting, Hart. I don’t need you ogling me in my sweatpants the way you’re checking me out in this suit.”

“See? There’s no need to be embarrassed around my teammates. They’re normal people. Well…sort of. If anything, Rookie should be the one embarrassed, thinking he has a shot in hell with you.” She’s staring straight ahead, chin tipped up. “And who says he doesn’t?” I whip my head in her direction. “Hallie. That’s not funny.”

“Do I need to remind you about that kiss we shared the last time we saw each other?” She laughs. “I’m not sixteen anymore, Rio. Just because we kissed doesn’t make me yours.” I lift a brow. “Is that a challenge?” “You can take that however you’d like.”

This project should be easy. She probably doesn’t remember this, but she once told me everything she envisioned for our future home, and I loved each and every idea she had.

“Because I wanted to see you. That’s all.”

“I don’t know. Because I always used to, I guess, and I’ve been feeling more like myself again lately.” She looks up at me. “For the first time in a long time.” I slip my hand into hers again, letting our fingers lace. “Yeah. I completely get what you mean.”

“And that’s why I’m still dressed, love. There’s not a world in which I get in a bed with you, even partially clothed, and all we do is sleep.”

“Most of what got me through the past six years was the belief that you were terrible, and I was better off without you. It’s been quite terrifying to realize…well, to remember, that you aren’t terrible at all.”

“God, Hallie.” His fingers tighten in my hair. “You have no idea how untrue that is. I wanted to. I tried so fucking hard to forget about you, and I couldn’t. I know that me simply saying that doesn’t mean shit right now, but soon enough, I think you’ll realize just how hard I’ve been holding on to you all these years later, even when I tried to let you go.”

His hand falls to my hip again before it glides down, skimming my ass and hitching my thigh over his waist, pulling us even closer. His calloused fingertips continue to run over my skin, as he ever so lightly traces my upper leg.

Tentatively, I reach out, toying with his shirt before I gain a little more bravery and slide my hand up his neck, running my fingers through his hair. We must be sharing a single pillow at this point, with our noses touching and our lips dangerously close.

“I’d happily stay up all night, getting into it with you, Hallie. And we both know this conversation needs to happen. I want us to move forward.”

“I didn’t give you the entire answer then. But if I were to give you the whole truth, I’d tell you that even though I may have gone six years without seeing you, the thought of going two weeks now feels impossible. And no, I don’t have the answer for why that is, but I want a chance to figure it out.”

“But I’m not your person.” My throat burns while saying it, and the words taste like a lie as soon as they’re out of my mouth. “Yeah,” he chuckles without humor. “That’s what I spent the past six years trying to convince myself of too. But I’m tired of lying, Hallie. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, baby.” He nudges his nose against mine. “That makes two of us.” He doesn’t wait any longer before he leans forward and presses his mouth to mine, stealing any retort I might have. Rio tightens my leg over his hip before gliding his palm up my thigh and over my ass again. He squeezes it at the same time he hums this satisfied growl against my lips. Then he continues on, slipping his hand under his sweatshirt I’m wearing, smoothing over my spine.

“Hal,” he exhales, already short of breath. “I want this. I want to give this another try. You and me.”

“Are you out of your mind? Just because I need you to be mine before I fuck you doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle.”

“I understand why you’re hesitant or uninterested,” he whispers. “I’m not going to push you to want me. But I am going to be here, waiting, if you ever decide you want to try again. I’m not going anywhere this time.”