The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More

by Jefferson Fisher

Winning an argument is a losing game.

The fastest way to lose your peace of mind is to give someone a piece of yours.

The only thing guaranteed in communication is that you’re bound to say the wrong thing.

Instead of getting upset when they raise their voice, you relate to it in your own life as a sign of their body’s ignition—it informs you that their body is feeling threatened, either by you or by something hidden from you.

You’ll begin to hear someone’s raised voice not as an attack but as a plea to remove the threat. If you want to put out their fire, find their trigger.

To feel confident, you need to begin proving to yourself that you’ll do what you say you’ll do.

Asserting your needs and voicing them in a way that maintains respect and credibility is never inconvenient—it’s necessary.