When We Ride: A Novel

by Rex Ogle

I’m not judging. I don’t smoke though. That shit makes you stupid. And I can’t afford to be stupid. I’m dumb enough as it is.

Now we’re high school seniors trying to figure out our futures … … if we ever get that far.

The rest of us try to get by, working or trying to find work to buy food, pay bills, and rent an old house that’s falling apart.

Mom didn’t go to college which is why she wants me to go so bad.

I don’t wanna be like my mom used to be. I gotta be better.

And it’s hard to relax when you have your whole future resting on every grade, your whole future resting on every mistake, your whole future waiting for you to make it happen or fuck it up.

At least I have a job. I thank God every day for it.”

I remind myself to be grateful for having a roof over my head for having three meals a day for Mom, who never stops encouraging me to do better, even when she stumbles.

Sure, I wanna feel good. Even just for a little while. But I won’t. I won’t risk it. Not with my future coming.

“You can’t dance with fire and not get burned.”

My throat scolded by acid, ’til I swallow it down.

And I wish that wishes were real so I could wish Lawson’s life would be better.

So I could wish that somehow I would fix this make things right and save Lawson from himself

and from the world that made hi...

I don’t know which is worse. A life ruined or a life ended or if there’s any difference at all.

And please, every one of you, remember: life isn’t an easy ride for any of us. But it sure is worth it. Keep driving.