“She doesn’t fucking appreciate the shit. You are a damn unicorn of a nigga. Bro, you work for one of the biggest hospitality companies in the world. You mean to tell me, you ain’t never had one slip up? She pissed you off. You pissed her off. Y’all broke up for a couple months. Nothing. No kiss. No touchy-feely. No lady ever caught yo’ eye and you wanted to…”