You're So Dead to Me (Grimdale Graveyard Mysteries, #1)

by Steffanie Holmes

But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we⁠— Of many far wiser than we⁠— And neither the angels in Heaven above Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; EDGAR ALLAN POE

For your information, I’m not hanging out in the world’s grossest sex club.

Me neither unfortunately

The Headless Pilot and I had a run-in on my flight from Bali last year, and it was not a pleasant experience. I was on the loo, reading a smutty romance novel on my phone and enjoying hour three of absolutely no dead people when he stuck his torso through the bathroom door and shook his neck stub at me. I screamed bloody murder because that’s what you do when you have a see-through neck stub in your face, and the stewardess had to break down the door because she thought I was having some kind of fit. They didn’t believe my story about seeing a spider, and I’ve been banned from that airline for life.

I can't stop cackling omg

my resting bitchface is so legendary that sonnets have been composed in its honor.

Same. This resonates.

“I hope you steered well clear of France,” Agnes says with a sniff. “French people live there.”

Third thing Agnes said that has made me cackle. I'm gonna love her I just know it.

“Listen, I’d love to stay and catch up, but I’ve just got in after a thirty-six-hour flight from New Zealand and I need sleep⁠—” “In my day they hanged women for flying,” Agnes barks,

Omg lmfao

I’m horny. Concupiscent. Downright lustful and randy.

Bro same

Immediately, an older American wearing a stars-and-stripes t-shirt and white socks with sandals starts peppering me with questions about military graves. “I don’t like all this namby-pamby poet nonsense,” he says. “I want to hear about guns and wars!”

'merica

THE WORLD IS A BOOK, AND THOSE WHO DO NOT TRAVEL READ ONLY A PAGE.

“Albert, you’re dead now,” Edward says in his haughtiest, princeliest tone. “So the good news is that you’ll never get syphilis from a Covent Garden floozy.”

I don't think Albert finds that as comforting as you do, Edward. Lmfao

That’s my mum – she has the attention span of an ADHD goldfish.

me too..

Ghosts – can’t live with them, can’t throw them out a window.

🤣🤣🤣

“Thou art a chicken,” Edward intones. “A feathered beast who⁠—” “Yes, yes, fine,” Bree snaps. “I am a chicken and I’m stalling for time.

not everyone solves their problems with stabbing.” “Why not? It is the most efficient method. If you stab problem, no more problem. See?”