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So with the loss of my family as well as the man I had loved, every thread that had linked me to who I was had been abruptly cut. I felt as if I had simply floated off, untethered, to some unknown universe.
And when it came down to it, what was the point in reexamining your sadness all the time anyway? It was like picking away at a wound and refusing to let it heal.
Because they do stay with you, even if they’re not living, breathing people anymore. It’s not the same crushing grief you felt at first, the kind that swamps you and makes you want to cry in the wrong places and get irrationally angry with all the idiots who are still alive when the person you love is dead. It’s just something you learn to accommodate.
Like adapting around a hole. I don’t know. It’s like you become . . . a doughnut instead of a bun.”
“I think she loves me. But she loves herself more. Or how could she do what she does?”
Too many people follow their own happiness without a thought for the damage they leave in their wake.
that no journey out of grief was straightforward. There would be good days and bad days. Today was just a bad day, a kink in the road, to be traversed and survived.
‘You don’t have to let that one thing be the thing that defines you.’”
“Whatever it is that’s happened, even if you don’t want to tell me, you need to understand that he was right. These last weeks, months, don’t have to be the thing that defines you. Even from the little I know of you, I know absolutely that you are bright and funny and kind and smart, and that if you can get yourself past whatever this is, you have an amazing future ahead.”
You live. And you throw yourself into everything and try not to think about the bruises.”
We don’t know what will happen. Which is why we have to take our chances while we can.
none of us move on without a backward look. We move on always carrying with us those we have lost. What we aim to do in our little group is ensure that carrying them is not a burden, something that feels impossible to bear, a weight keeping us stuck in the same place. We want their presence to feel like a gift.
