Captivating (Red Lips & White Lies, #4)

by Bella Matthews

When Mom was growing up, everyone called her Tinker Bell. But Dad says the minute I was born, that’s what she called me. Her little fairy. Tiny, feisty, and even more blonde than she was. I think she was just happy to give the nickname to someone else.

“Because ballbuster or not, you’re still a shit liar,” I challenge. She licks her lips and leans in a breath closer. “That’s okay because it turned out you were a good enough liar for both of us.” Shit. Guess I deserve that.

There’s safety, then there’s suffocating.

I think I need to take whatever time off I’m about to be handed and maybe fix the distance the past few years have cemented between us.

“Xander . . . Please. Just give me some room to breathe.” I drop my voice, so Dillan can’t hear me. “I’m literally begging you. I need some space, or I’m going to suffocate.”

I smile at Uncle Coop. “So, am I going to be able to kick someone’s ass after this class?” “It’s self-defense, princess. You’re not learning to fight. You’re learning to defend yourself.” That voice. Grr . . .

There was a time I wanted nothing more than for this man in front of me to be the man guarding my body. Now the thought pisses me off. “Guess it’s a good thing you don’t have to be concerned with who’s guarding my body then.”

Madman lifts his chin, but his knuckles grow white against his grip on the bar. “I make it my business to know when my friends are threatened. I’m a goddamn Beneventi. You really surprised?”

Then I think about everything Noah just laid out and realize it never did die. She might drive me batshit fucking crazy, but Lilah Ryan will always matter to me. Her safety. Her happiness. Her smile. I’d still rain down war for her.

We were everything until we were nothing at all.

“You don’t get to ask me this. You don’t get a say in how I live my life, Killian. You lost that privilege when you chose wrong.”

“’Night, princess.” I slide down the wall to my ass and almost silently whisper back, “’Night, champ.”

Alive isn’t the same as unhurt.

“Don’t listen to them, princess. Don’t let them in your head. You, Lilah Belle Ryan, are fucking perfect. You’re beautiful, and you’re kind . . . well, to everyone who isn’t me. So what if you gained a pound or two, Lilah. They look really fucking good on you.”

You’ll always be my favorite once upon a time, even if you can never be my happily ever after . . .

“When I kiss you, you’re going to be the last girl I kiss for the rest of my life.

“I finished the song,” she whispers reverently. “Oh yeah?” I cross the room in fast strides, needing to be closer. “What’s it called?” “Red Lips & White Lies.” Her long lashes flutter when I stop in front of her. “I guess I was inspired by all the liars in my life.”

“I’ve spent a lifetime loving you, Lilah. It was always going to be us. Even when you hated me, I loved you. Even when I thought I hated you, I loved you more.”

You’re the song I don’t want to end.

“Everything okay?” I whisper, and Dillan smiles. “Just thinking I’d like to be the cream between that Beneventi sandwich.”

“Look at you, hot shot. You’re all sorts of important,” she teases, and this right here, this is what I needed. Her. She wraps her arms around my neck and digs her thumb into the muscle. “What’s the first thing you want to eat after the fight?” “You.” I grin and lick my lips. “All night long.”

“I don’t care what she does, so long as she gives me a lifetime.”

“I’ve loved you my whole life.” I wipe her tear with my thumb, and she smiles. “And I’ll love you for the rest of mine.”