If We Survive This

by Racquel Marie

Closure means ending, and I have never known how to swallow one of those without choking.

comfortable is how you die. I’ve never been comfortable, though, not fully. Even when life was gentle with me, my brain sensed the danger. How generous of the world to finally validate my fears.

When Sim, Amina, and I got into the fashion camp we’d applied to back in March, an advanced version of the one I attended the summer after elementary school—the only year we didn’t go up to the cabin—I thought long and hard about whether I was willing to miss this trip for the first time. When I decided I was, I felt proud. Like I’d make some kind of progress with myself. Now I feel like I’m being punished. The universe called my bluff.

*sobs * so its not just me?