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April 30 - May 5, 2025
If you hit someone in the back of the head hard enough, you can pop their eyeballs right out of their face.
“You look like a TV doctor. Dr. McSpicy or something. What are your credentials?”
“Rose is my pequeño gorrión. My little sparrow. One of my best performers.”
I might have been abandoned here, left in a cage. Maybe my wings have been clipped. But I can still fly.
Lachlan was right. I’m knee-deep in my peak “Hallmark Sad Man Cinderwhatever” era.
“To be honest, I was relieved it wasn’t the raccoon again. Do you know how hard it is to get a codeine-addicted raccoon out of a ventilation system? Fucking hard.”
“Yeah, fucking Barbara. Let’s fuck her up,” I say, whipping my knife from the sheath at my back. “Who’s Barbara?” “The raccoon.”
“It wasn’t really by choice. But I’d take a raccoon to the face for you any day, Rose Evans.”
“There’s a beat-up chick here with a tall guy claiming to be your brother. He stole my fucking crutch,”
“I’m sure you will. Drive safe, Shitflicker.” “Listen here, ya little banshee—”
“God, yes. But what if you couldn’t find me?” My strokes slow. I hold her gaze. The urge to kiss her steals my breath. It takes every last thread of my restraint not to do it, and it leaves nothing else behind. Maybe she won’t see that every barrier I try to keep up has crumbled, if only for a heartbeat, when I say, “I will always find you, Rose.”
Me? I look like I’ve been dragged through the apocalypse, fought some zombies, and narrowly escaped with some horror stories and a bag of wet Cheetos.
“I’ve literally slept in the Berry Go Round. You know, the strawberries that spin round with the flat wheel thing in the middle? Yeah. I can sleep anywhere. I don’t mind.” “I mind.”
“Just because you finger fucked me on a plane doesn’t mean I want to get married, Dr. Kane,” I say as two women exit the elevator arm in arm. “You tell him, badass bitch,” one of them says as the other gives me a high five when they pass by.
“It’s okay to love your darkness and still love yourself. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a whole one.”
I finally realize I don’t care about the illusion of light anymore. My Rose blooms in the dark. And all I want is to grow there with her.
“It’s over because I love you, Rose. I’m sorry I spent so much time and effort trying not to. It was only because I didn’t think it was safe for you. I don’t think I knew how to fit into your wide-open world. But from the very first glance, from the first word, I was caught in your gravity. I wanted to be near you. And I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. But, lately, that’s the only thing in our cards, it seems.”
“And you can’t keep telling Barbara she has rabies. She doesn’t like that.” “You have Barbara?” I ask, and she gives me a faint nod. “I thought she was performing with the poodles.”
But she’s pretty fast. And stabby. And she goes for the eyes.
The little banshee grins up at me, her dark eyes sparkling. She sets down a pissed-off-looking raccoon of all fucking things, though somehow, that tracks.
“I think we’ve just officially replaced your Shitflicker nickname. Dumpster Goblin suits you.”
“You’re an idiot,” Fionn whispers to me as the three of us press our foreheads together. “And you’re a birdseed-eating twat,” Lachlan counters on my behalf. “And you’re a broody asshat,”
“wanna sneak away and go do karate in the garage?” I smile down at my beautiful wife, those hazel eyes so full of love and joy, that dimple a flash of mischief next to her lip. “I thought you’d never ask.”
