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Her unspoken words hang in the air between us. “Paedyn.” I tip my forehead against hers, aching to say what she is so scared of. In that field of poppies, I told her how impossible it was to stop myself from falling in love with her. And yet, the three damning words have yet to fall from my lips. I love you.
Perhaps in another life, I am brave enough to confess that I love him. Perhaps in another life, I learn to love him from afar. And that is the most fearless thing of them all.
“If I die,” I repeat sternly, “I need you to find something else worth losing yourself to. I won’t let my impending death be yours as well.” I press my forehead to his, voice breaking as I say, “Promise me that. Please.” “Pae.” His voice is ragged. “I would lose my life for you before finding something else worth living for.” His fingers weave into my hair, slide along the back of my neck. “You are my inevitable. In life and in death.”
She was my A. But she was his Dena.
I won’t turn around. I can’t turn around.
Its going to be kai isnt it
So this is it. In the end, an Azer will always choose duty. And my death has just become that.
Nope i refuse to believe this kai wouldnt kill paedyn
Fight back, Pae. I need you to fight back.
I dont want to turn the page im scared
“Adena died here. I want to die here too.”
Its not okay, im not okay
“Through the chest, remember?” A tear rolls down my cheek, carving a path through the sand sticking there. “That is how I want to die. Just like the ones I’ve loved.” The Enforcer breaks.
My fingers wrap around his, wanting to hold them one last time. The blade is aimed at my chest, inches from my pounding heart. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m ready. I’ve been ready my whole life.”
ITS NOT OKAY IM CRYING
“No, I won’t!” I try to pull my hands from the blade, but he lifts his free one, clamping it around mine. Steel pierces his skin.
Im literally crying i dont know if i can keep reading, i nees to stop getting so attached to fictional characters
“But I need you.” A sob racks my body. “You’re all I h-have left. You know I need you!”
“I can’t lose you, too. Please… please don’t leave me.”
“You’re okay, Kai. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I squeeze his hand, hiding my sobs between each whispered syllable. “It’s just you and me. Under the willow.”
Because the light leaves those gray eyes. “No.” The word is defiant. “No.” This one is pleading. “No!”
“No, you can’t go! You promised you wouldn’t leave me, remember?”
My forehead meets his, and I murmur the words I thought would take him away from me. It’s a confession I was too cowardly to voice—and now it will become my biggest regret. But I whisper it now, over and over. “I love you, Kai. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Agony.
I know what it feels like to kill him.
“Kai?” The muffled shout that returns has me laughing through a disbelieving sob. “Pae!”
Oh my god
Alive. He’s alive.
“How are you here?” My voice is a cracked whisper. “I watched… I watched you die.”
“You almost died thinking it was me who killed you. Thinking that I would ever lay a hand on you again for any reason other than a caress. I told you I would never fight you again, but there I was, hurting you like I promised not to.”
Thank fucking god i knew kai wouldnt do that to pae
“Paedyn, I love you. Like nothing else before, I love you. And I’ve been waiting to tell you since I realized your eyes are my favorite color and your freckles the only constellation worth looking at. I could lie—say that you’ve stolen my every thought and heartbeat like the thief you are, but all of me was already yours. Pae, you are my inevitable.”
“I love you, Malakai. I love you.”
“It’s Adena’s boy from Loot.” She chokes on his name. “Mak.”
Mak no :(
“There is nothing I regret more than not having the time with you.”
He was going to save me.
HE WAS TOO LATE :(
It’s familiarity, I realize. It’s recognition of yourself within another. I stare at the woman. She stares up at me. Her bright blue eyes are nearly as vibrant as the smile she wears. There’s a certain warmth in her gaze, in the rosiness of her cheeks. Light blond hair cascades over her shoulders, falling in loose waves. And her nose… I take a shuddering breath before lifting the photograph in front of my face. Her nose is dusted with freckles.
Paedyns mum?????!
“It was the queen you loved. The one who died giving birth to me.”
“After you killed Queen Iris,” he bites, “the king handed you off to a Silencer. That is when he discovered that an Ordinary—an Ordinary—killed one of the rarest Elites known to Ilya.”
Wait are paedyn and kitt siblings!?!? Now husband and wife
“We are half siblings,” Kitt finally blurts.
Paedyn is the daughter of the late Queen Iris
My eyes drift downward. The iron stoker protrudes from his chest.
Kai rushes to his brother, voice choked. “No! You were supposed to dodge, Kitt!”
“You were supposed to dodge,” I say again, my words heavy with guilt. “I thought you were going to dodge.” The delirium that was clutching Kitt so tightly begins to slip away. “I forgot. I… I can’t even remember myself.”
“I haven’t felt right for… a while. I don’t… remember. But I’m scared, Kai.”
“I can love more than one person, Kitt.” “But I cannot,” he whispers. “You were the only person that loved me, Kai. And I—I was… losing you to her.”
“Bury me…” Kitt takes several shallow breaths. Then he smiles. “Under the willow tree. I… I won’t be lonely there.” My very soul feels as though it is splitting in two. “I can’t do this without you, Kitt. Please. Please.”
Then he’s lifting shaking hands to fumble with the wedding ring on his finger. My voice quivers. “What are you—?” Kitt slips that steel band free. And with the last of his dwindling strength, whispers, “Love each other for me.” Then the ring is pressed into my palm.
Kitt is gone, and a piece of Kai with him.
I discreetly informed the captain that dumping her from the ship was an option, if his men so desired.
That was planned too? Im so conflicted on how to feel about kitt..on one hand he was sick....on the other he knew what he was doing waswrong
“You’ve dug enough graves for me,” she breathes. “I figured I would repay the favor.”
Paeydn<3
“I killed him.” I barely hear her words. “It wasn’t your fault. He was already dying, Kai. The Healers told us so.” “I still killed him, Paedyn.” My voice breaks. “I killed my brother!”
My sweet kai im so sorry
My knee meets the cobblestone, and her mouth opens in a gasp. “Marry me, Pae. I’m already on one knee, but I’ll get down on both and beg for you, if you like.”
After everything this is bittersweet but im so happy
“You still feel her, right?” Kai’s lips twitch into a smile. “She’s on her way back.” Then he raises his voice toward the sea of corn. “Did you find it?”
THEY HAVE A CHILD!!?
