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“Thank you,” I breathe into the crisp air. “For everything. But mostly for being here with me. You’re a comfort in the castle.” I laugh sadly. “And in this whole new life I’ve been thrown into.”
With his arms circling my shoulders, I whisper one last “Thank you.”
In their eyes, I’m as good as dead.
“Please come home, Kai. I can’t have you dying on me too.”
“I’ll be back. Death fears me, remember?”
when I return, we’ll celebrate with another dance between the three of us. So long as Paedyn doesn’t purposely step on my toes this time.”
“Don’t go,” he begs Kai. “Please don’t go. I might never see you again—”
Jax has lost so much, so young. And I am watching him beg Kai not to be the next person he mourns.
I cling to that thought, that image of my smiling A.
“You’re going to be fine, Pae,” Kai murmurs beside me.
“I’m just… nervous.” He leans his forearms on the rail. “You usually are around me. Don’t hurt yourself over it, darling.”
“Not even twenty minutes on the sea and you’ve already come up with a new nickname for me.” “I’m sure many more will come to mind in the days ahead.”
“I never left.” A shake of his head. “And yet, I felt the absence of you all the same.” He looks out at the water, his gray eyes mirroring the sea before us. “I suppose that is my sentence for the rest of this life.”
“Then I’ll swim for the both of us.”
Since boarding this ship, I’ve been continuously reminded of just how dangerous it is to be alone with my own thoughts. So I have no choice but to be with her.
“Did you come in here just to flirt, Azer?” “Darling, I haven’t even started.”
“There are a lot of things I pretend not to love.”
if you want me to tell you the sheer extent of my jealousy, then I will. But I’d rather not waste what little time we have together talking about my brother.
let you see just how much I hate that you are not mine.”
I want to be powerful like her.
“Mostly magic and worlds I wanted to escape to.” She sounds oddly bashful. “Worlds where I might have fit in.”
I picture this version of us, far in a future that will never come to pass. A happy ending in which I lie on Paedyn’s lap, listening to her read until the day I fade into a distant memory.
She knows exactly what she’s doing. My name means nothing to me until she speaks it. Nothing until she claims it as her own.
“Should I hold your shoes now, or wait for you to lose them?”
I do this for her. Every dance. Every smile.
So I spin her in the moonlight. Smile when she laughs at my expense. And let her step on my toes.
How could this nothing come from something so strong and rare? An Ordinary born of two powerful Elites is unheard of. Yet, here she is, this weak excuse for life.
“Do you trust me?”
“I do. I did even when I shouldn’t have.”
He’s found me once again.
Honey. Tears prick my eyes. “You brought that from Ilya?” Another streak of lightning allows me to see the slight smile gracing his features. “Just for you.”
This dough holds every happy moment I’ve had in this life, and if I am to die tonight, I want it to be with this honey on my tongue. This reminder of my home—Adena.
“You deserve a distraction too,” I say as softly as the stormy sea will allow. He brushes cool knuckles down the side of my cheek. “You are forever my distraction, darling.”
and somehow find tranquility in the violence. As if I’ve found the eye of the storm within him, and he in me.
Nothing and no one has ever devastated me more. Not the sand, the sea, the slow brush of Death’s hand. Because maybe, just maybe, he is the most ruinous thing of them all.
If it was kindness the sea showed us last night, I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to see land.
These books need to dry before you read one to me tonight.”
It’s no wonder she grew up to be so formidable if the women in these stories helped raise her. They are fearless, their stories thrilling.
“Are you implying that you’re tired?” “Of you?” She smiles. “Very.”
“If you’re going to continually lie about wanting me, at least try to make it believable.”
Pae’s eyes meet mine and suddenly I’m back in the palace, back to that night when I begged her to stay with me after watching her die in my nightmare.
it’s my own selfish desires that have me needing her beside me.
“Stay with me. Please.”

