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For those fearless enough to follow their heart
“Every brutal act is born of love.”
She is shambles. She is haunted. She is to be a bride.
“The future queen of Ilya bows her head to no one.”
Damn the pretending. Damn the hiding. Damn everything but him and us and this moment where I need him.
“Her treason is not all that it seems. Our union will serve as a peace offering to the surrounding kingdoms. This show of faith will welcome Ordinaries back into Ilya, and therefore, entice our neighbors to reopen trade with welcoming Elites.” Kitt smiles tightly. “Our marriage will mark the beginning of my reign, and the strongest Ilya there has ever been.”
I watch Paedyn through the gaps of a gawking crowd, just as I will for the rest of my life. I’ll be forced to spend my days at her service but never at her side. In her shadow but never truly seen. In love with a girl I’d have bowed to long before she became my queen.
I’ve been nothing but willing when it comes to drowning in those ocean eyes. But now, I can’t fathom drowning if she is not the anchor I’m sinking with.
Why couldn’t we have just stayed in that field of poppies? I would spend the rest of my days making her flower crowns if she wanted to be a queen. My queen. Not Kitt’s. Not Ilya’s. Mine.
“So much as breathe on her again,” I snarl, “and I’ll ensure it’s the last time you ever do.”
It was her I was meant to adore in this world and crawl to in the one after.
“Then you have no idea how much power you hold over me.” “You seem to forget that I’m completely powerless, Prince.” Her words hold an edge, as though her breath has become a blade she drags along my neck. “So be my weakness, then.” “You know I’m betrothed to your brother,” she whispers, lips dangerously close to mine. I swallow, voice stern. “For now.”
“I’m too selfish to let you go so easily.”
“You’re not supposed to touch me at all.”
“But you could command me to,” I drawl. “Then I’d simply be following an order.”
Sun and sand and her bloody, broken body in my lap suddenly flash before my eyes.
My heart bangs against my chest, beating for her, beating for every moment we may never get to spend together.
I can practically hear jaws snapping shut at the dismissal. Kitt then stands, and after a moment of hesitation, extends a hand to me. My eyes slide to Kai, even as I slowly reach for his brother. But he doesn’t look at me. No, the Enforcer’s gaze is on the palm I’ve placed atop the king’s, growing darker with every second our skin grazes. And as we stride from the room, hand in hand, I will Kai to meet my eyes and read the message within them. Pretend.
“I heard you scream. And nothing… nothing has terrified me more.”
“We both know it will take more than a locked door to keep me from you.”
“Darling, I’d be in this bed beside you if my brother hadn’t slipped a ring onto your finger.”
I am betrothed to the king, and yet, my heart beats for his brother.
“You are devastating, Pae.”
“You’re quite the poet, Prince.” Moonlight pools in the dimple that accompanies his grin. “And you the muse, darling.”
“I pictured a different forever for us. One that took place far from here. But if this is all we get…” He pauses, eyes as silver as the moonbeams pouring down on us. “Then we’ll make the most of it. I will be your Enforcer. Your rival. Your secret waiting beneath the willow.”
And here I sit, unable to stop it. Unable to do anything but watch them slowly become each other’s forever.
“So bow at my feet with a sneer, if you must. I won’t see it with your face to the ground.”
“My room doesn’t have you in it.” My lips twitch. “Hence why I’m in yours.”
My fingers find that damning ring, slipping it off even as my mouth moves against hers.
“It will take far more than mere words to drag me from you, darling.”
It’s as though she is whole again in my arms, reunited with the ghost of her father and held in the arms of her Enforcer. And when she kisses me, long and fierce, I realize how happily I’d live the rest of my life at the end of a blade. So long as she is the one holding it.
It is cruel, not being able to call him mine after everything we’ve endured.
“I thought you might not walk through those doors tonight. And it made me realize that I’d much rather spend the rest of my life apart from you, watching at a distance, than without you.”
“I don’t want to gain power if it means I lose myself in the process.”
“I would lose my life for you before finding something else worth living for.”
“You are my inevitable. In life and in death.”
“Because I don’t like to share.”
“Oh, I’ll still have my eyes on you when I’m drunk, darling. And that is exactly the problem.”
“Vicious little thing.”
“You are forever my distraction, darling.”
“My pretty, pretty Pae.”
“I promised to save your life again and again. And I will, whether you allow me to stay in it or not.”
“I’m selfish, Paedyn. I burned your home to the ground just to have you and now it is all of Ilya standing in my way, tempting me to light a match.”
“Damn fate, and duty, and every other word meant to keep us apart.” Tears slip from those blue eyes I would happily drown in. “I want to hide with you beneath the willow tree. You are the secret I will spend the rest of my life keeping.” Her voice quivers beneath the weight of such a promise. “Us.”
I do not back down. I do not fail, or falter, or feel remorse.
“It’s as though you were born for this.”
Even the prettiest things can bite.”
“Just admiring the sun.”
You said to be on my best behavior, and I can’t possibly do that if I’m in the same room as you. Besides, all I do is spend my days in the training yard, attempting to teach a bunch of lazy bastards how to punch. Reminds me of when I had to do the same for you. And don’t roll your eyes; I know you loved it. For now, this will have to be our pretend. Kitt spent most of the morning with me, and he seemed good. Great, even. But I know my brother. I think he’s trying to keep me away from you, slowly distance us. Maybe he wants you as badly as I do, but not at the price of losing me. He wants us
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I’m glad you were able to visit the Fort after everything that happened. You deserve to have that time with Adena. I only wish I had known. We both know that you can handle yourself, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about you. As for these wedding plans, it sounds to me like you’re getting cold feet, Gray. We could still make a run for it, you know. Head back out onto the Shallows. Find Astrum and keep sailing. Just say the word. (Twenty-eight, darling. But I could do a recount if you like.) Your Cocky Bastard
