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“Go ahead,” he replies, “My academic record is all yours to scrutinize.” “I don’t think it counts as scrutinizing if they’re all As.” “And one B-plus,” he corrects me, “Sophomore year. On a quiz about Wuthering Heights. In my defense though, Professor Smyth puts me right to sleep every time.” I almost chuckle – almost – before I realize he’s doing it again. Using his smile, his charm, to disarm me. And it’s working.
And then he says, in a voice like he’s describing the weather, “My name is Adrian Ellis, and I killed Mickey Mabel.” My brows shoot toward my hairline. No hesitation, no concern for the recording app still ticking away.
“Well, it’s quite simple. I killed him because I woke up Tuesday morning and felt like it.”
“I’ll come to the meet, alright? You don’t need to ruin my sketchbook. I’ll come.” There’s a playful gleam in his dark eyes. “Well, when you say it like that, it’s almost like I’m forcing you.”
Adrian plays modest whenever he ends the quarter with another string of straight-As or has the fastest finishing time, but the humility is an act. A show for the crowd.
Because I’d sooner cuddle up to a viper than I would pursue Adrian. ***
“You know, I was beginning to enjoy your presence,” he murmurs, dark eyes flashing. “You were…what did you call it? An obligatory friend?” I’m very aware of his thumb as it gently pulls my bottom lip from my top. “We could still be friends,” I whisper. “Nothing has to change.”
Like I’m not Poppy, the perpetual thorn in his side, but a brand new woman who’s just walked through the door. Like he’s seeing me for the first time. “...something,” he finishes quietly.
The lazy smile on his face betrays nothing. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“I don’t get the appeal.” His eyes flash. “Of him. There is absolutely nothing special about Freddy Rook, and yet, you’re choosing to spend time with him over me. I thought we agreed to be friends.”
“It’s not about you. It’s not about him. It’s about me wanting to go to a silly high school dance with a cute boy and take pictures and embarrass myself on the dance floor. It has nothing to do with you.” I don’t even realize I’ve taken a step forward till I’m face-to-face with his collarbones and have to tip my chin upwards. The anger vanishes from his face. “Then go with me.” The world skitters to a stop. “What?” “Go with me,” he repeats. “I’ll take you to the dance.”
Adrian Ellis just asked me to the dance. Adrian Ellis, the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen in my life, just asked me to the dance. Adrian Ellis, the most popul...
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“No,” I say. “That’s okay. I think I’ll take my chances with Freddy.” I go to walk away, but Adrian’s hand latches onto my arm with a vice grip. “No?” His eyebrows are furrowed, his lips pulled into a deep frown. “What do you mean ‘no’?” “I’m going to be late for class.” He ignores me, his frown transforming into a full-blown scowl. “Why not?” “I’d rather go with Freddy.” “No, you wouldn't.” “Yes, I would.” “You have to be lying.” “I’m not. I think I’ll have a great time with him.”
“This is insulting. I’m trying to do you a favor, and you’re still picking him over me. You should be grateful I’m even offering.”
“Tell me why,” he orders. “I need to know why.” There’s an edge of desperation to his voice that’s almost unsettling.
His first real friend. That word still feels so weird. Granted, a shaky friendship, but a friendship nonetheless. Is he worried he’s going to lose me to Freddy?
Adrian’s grin only widens. “I want to take you to the St. Benedict’s Dance. Will you go with me, Poppy?” What the hell?
“Because I see you now,” he breathes so quietly I know I’m the only one who hears. “So say yes or I’ll make a scene so bad this entire room will be begging for your expulsion before the day’s over.”
Well, looking isn’t the right word for what he’s doing. He’s staring at me, and he’s doing it in the same way half the Lacrosse team stares at Sophie’s bare, high-heeled legs – with total shameless captivation.
He blinks as if remembering we’re supposed to be having a conversation, and his expression clears. “You were right.”
“I see how it’s supposed to be,” he murmurs, staring down at me like I’m an equation he’s finally solved. “I’ve been feeling odd things. You’ve been making me feel odd things.”
“I assumed my growing interest was because I’d never had a friend before,” he confesses. “It wasn’t until this morning that I realized I’d misread our situation entirely.”
“It was that pathetic display at your locker.” His face suddenly darkens, every ounce of softness disappearing. “You pulled out that pitiful little rose, and you had all this stunned excitement on your face. For him. For someone else.”
“And then we talked before second period. And I realized you were right. I haven’t seen you very clearly, but I do now. I see you – us – for what we are.”
“And what are we?” He can’t be saying what I think he’s trying to say. He’s not. He can’t. His gaze keeps me rooted to the spot. “I like you, sweetheart. I like you a lot. We’re not friends. We’re going to be more than that.”
“You say that like you’ve already decided it.” There’s not an ounce of uncertainty in his voice or his face. “Because I have. I like you. I’m interested in you, and I want to explore that interest.”
I do feel are easy enough to ignore. But around you, everything is…amplified.”
“Please,” he cuts me off sharply. “This morning, when you looked at him, it took every ounce of my self-control to avoid walking over to Freddy Rook and bashing his skull in till he was no longer worth looking at. You do this to me.”
“No. I’m just not interested in you like that.” The absurdity of this moment strikes me: I’m trying to friend zone Adrian Ellis.
“I look at you the same way everyone looks at you. I mean, yes, I’m attracted to you. I’m human. I have eyes. But you and me –” “Could be perfect together,” he cuts in.
“Well, I never said I was a saint. Or above blackmail. You should get used to it.” “Should I?” “Yes.” There’s no room for argument in his tone. “You’re mine now.” “Just what I’ve always wanted,” I reply sarcastically. “A relationship built on a foundation of blackmail and secrets.”
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Adrian leads me through the ballroom without so much as a glance toward the party that’s already in full swing. He’s too busy looking at me.
“Precisely.” He takes a swig of what I assume is some sort of sparkling cider, eyes gleaming. “A pretty little doll that I get to show off…and only I get to touch.”
“You should’ve grabbed me, sweetheart. I would’ve bought you anything you like.”
“Poppy!” Freddy calls. “I forgot to tell you. You look gorgeous tonight!” I don’t even have time to open my mouth before Adrian whirls around, his fist colliding with Freddy’s face in a sickening crunch.
He cups my cheek gently. “But right now, I’m your bad guy.” “And if I tell you I don’t want a bad guy?” My throat tightens around the question. His smile never wavers. “Then I’d tell you that you’re lying.”
“You know I would’ve kept going if nobody was around to break the fight up, right? Maybe I would’ve killed him. Or just beat him within an inch of his life. And I would’ve done it for you.” His hand tightens almost painfully around my jaw, eyes flashing. “Just for you. For the sole crime of thinking he ever had a chance with you. Don’t tell me that kind of devotion doesn’t interest you.”
“You’re a monster,” I whisper. He just blinks at me – unfazed. “You knew that already,” he says quietly and strokes the mark he left on my neck. “But I’m a monster infatuated.”
“I don’t know how to do this part.” “What part?” Now he’s the one glancing away, his mouth twisted up like I’ve made him swallow piece of sour candy. “The part where I’m not in control.”
“And now I don’t know what to do with all these…” He shakes his head. “Feelings. You say that I’m standing on solid ground, but you’ve stolen every bit of it right out from underneath me. You have a hold on me that nobody ever has. These three weeks…I couldn’t stand it. All I can think about is you. I can’t stop worrying that if I let you slip through my fingers – even for a moment – you’ll decide you’re done with me, and there will be nothing I can do to convince you otherwise. And it’s terrifying. For the first time in a long time, I am terrified.”
“I’m just letting you know that we could be spending our weekends in Santorini. Or Dubai. Japan. You spin the globe, see where your finger lands, and I’ll take you there.”
“It’s like an…impulse. I need to know everything about you. I need to see where you’ve grown up. I need to see your family. I need to see every single part of your life – past and present – till I’m sure I know you better than you know yourself. It’s not a want. I have to.”
“At the end of the day, people still need to buy your art, don’t they, honey? I mean, finding clients and all that. Who knows if –” “I’d buy them.” Adrian looks at me as he says it. “I’d buy every single last one of them.”
“No. Absolutely not. I’m not going to –” “You don’t have to do,” he says quietly, and it takes me a moment to comprehend what he’s saying. What he’s offering.
“Keep your filthy eyes off her,” Adrian snaps. “You don’t get to look at her.” Ian obeys, immediately
“My life’s already yours, sweetheart,” he vows. “Just as yours is mine.”
“It’s alright if you don’t like them,” I say quickly. “This is new to you, so if…” “I think you may be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life,”
“You take everything I give you. You take it all, and you never break. You never even waver. You withstand me in a way that nobody else ever could. That’s how I know you’re mine. We are made for each other.”
“You’re mine,” he affirms. “There’s no going back – not anymore. This is forever. Do you understand me, sweetheart?” He rocks forward, sheathing his entire length into me at once.
“It doesn’t matter if you change your mind,” he groans. “It doesn’t matter if you wake up one day and decide you hate me. I’ll never let you go.” His pace quickens, but his strokes have begun to get sloppy. “I don’t care what I have to do. Who I have to kill. I’ll break you into tiny pieces and rebuild you myself if it means I get to keep you. You’re never leaving me, sweetheart.”
