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“Am I not allowed to miss you?”
“Adrian –”
His mouth meets my skin. “I think I like it when you say my name like that.”
Adrian’s body pressed into mine, my wrists pinned to the mattress, and ...
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“I know what you’re doing,” I tell him, though my voice’s certainly shakier than it was when we started. “And I don’t appreciate it.”
“And what is it I’m doing?” “You’re trying to distract me,” I say. “And it’s not working.”
“Why are you here, Adrian?”
“I told you. I missed you.” “You missed me so much you didn’t bother even calling or texting once.” “Well, neither did you.”
“Because if you don’t leave right now, I’m going to walk out of this room, start sobbing, and explain to my mother that you cheated on me. She’ll throw you out herself.”
“Is that so?” “Yes.” I nod. “And trust me – there won’t be enough sunflowers in the world to charm your way back into her good graces. She despises cheating.”
“Well, I’ll just blame it on the pregnancy hormones.”
“How disappointed do you think she’d be to learn you’re about to be a teenage mom?” I know the panic that sparks in my chest is exactly the reaction he’s hoping for, but I can’t help it. “You wouldn’t.”
“I don’t know how to do this part.” “What part?”
“The part where I’m not in control.”
But you…”
can’t feed you a line. I can’t curate a version of myself that you’ll respond to because you already know exactly who I am. It’s why I’m so drawn to you.
“And now I don’t know what to do with all these…”
“Feelings. You say that I’m standing on solid ground, but you’ve stolen every bit of it right out from underneath me. You hav...
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All I can think about is you. I can’t stop worrying that if I let you slip through my fingers – even for a moment – you’ll decide you’re done with me, and there will be nothing I can do to convince you otherwise. And it’s ter...
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“I’m terrified too,”
“That’s not what I’m terrified of. Not anymore. I’m just…”
“...terrified,” is all I say. “I’m just terrified. That’s all.”
“Your art is lovely, sweetheart, but I have to confess…this isn’t what I pictured we’d be doing in a hotel room alone together,”
“I know, but I have to finish this. The applications for Pratt are closing soon, and I still need to put a few finishing touches on a few of the pieces for my portfolio.”
“You’re offering me Harvard.” My tongue’s so heavy it’s sticking to the bottom of my mouth. “Like it’s on a silver platter or something.”
You want me at Harvard because you’re going to Harvard.”
“Is that such a bad thing? To want to be close to my girlfriend?”
“We’ll get a cute little apartment off campus. We’ll meet up after classes and study in the library together. On the weekends, we’ll go into the city, have breakfast, and afterward, I’ll ...
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“Sweetheart?” He gives me an expectant look. “You sound like the devil on my shoulder,” I mutter. “I’ll gladly be your devil.”
Adrian walk out, completely bare-chested with a towel slung around his waist.
“The water pressure’s not suitable for my hair,” are the first words out of his mouth. “I’ll have to complain.”
“Oh, it looks…” My tongue’s suddenly glued to the roof of my mouth. “...fine ...
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to his V-line, to the smattering of dark curls that disappear beneath the towel. My mouth goes dry. “See something you like?”
“Maybe.” Definitely. Yes. “Maybe?”
“Just maybe?”
he looms over me, hands on either side of my body so that I’m caged against the bed. My breath quickens. Do I like this? I think I like this.
“Are you sure that word’s supposed to be plural?” “Well, we have four,”
“It’s like an…impulse. I need to know everything about you. I need to see where you’ve grown up. I need to see your family. I need to see every single part of your life – past and present – till I’m sure I know you better than you know yourself. It’s not a want. I have to.”
“What kind of parts are we talking about here, sweetheart?”
“Ugly parts,” I admit. “The kind of ugly you don’t even want to look at. Like so ugly you can’t even bring yourself to sympathize with them.”
“You will. Just as I’ll see all of yours.”
“Oh, of course she is.” Mom takes a generous sip of her wine and giggles. “Well, except for –” My stomach twists. “I don’t think we need to tell that story.”
“Oh, come on, honey. It was cute. Everyone thought it was really cute.”
“But finally, she presents it to Ms. Shelby and…” My face floods with heat. I’m watching a car crash. My car crash. “Well, lovely as some of her art may be, that one was not.”
“Come fall, your daughter’s going to be a Harvard student.” I kick him under the table. Rick grunts. “Hey, who kicked me?” Whoops.
“Gettin’ him to come all this way for the holidays, this dinner, and that dress…you’re clearly gettin’ your money’s worth for as long as he sticks around.” I drop her hands and take a step back. “That’s not what this is. I’m not conning Adrian for money.”
“I’m sure, whatever money that boy’s spent, it’s of his own free will. You probably haven’t asked for a thing.”
“I hav...
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“And I wouldn’t judge you if you had, honey,” she says, a gentle tenor to her voice. Like I’m the unreasonable one. “Men, especially men like that…their attention’s fleeting. You take what you can while you can.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. This isn’t a fling, and Adrian’s attention isn’t fleeting. He’s the one trying to convince me to go to Harvard with him.”
