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Out of all the people I’d met in my life, no one had ever managed to make me feel the way Emma did. Everyone was under the impression that I hated her. Even Emma believed it. But I didn’t hate her. I was fucking obsessed with her.
Emma had tased her way straight to my heart.
“I’m ready,” I said. I absolutely was not ready.
He went down the steps to his car. His body looked so stiff, I wondered if there was a stick up his ass. Then again, he’d always been too lame to let me peg him.
I walked by the kitchen and held up a thumbs-up, saying the only thing that could get me out of this mess temporarily to Haley and Sarah.
“I’m going to take a shit.” They both snorted, all too familiar with my hot girl tummy troubles.
If my ex-husband dared to show up on my porch and interrupted this, I was going to stab him with my tentacle dildo.
Fuck, was that a tentacle dildo? Jesus. That only turned me on more.
One day, I owed her a fucking apology on my knees for how insane I was around her. But today was not the fucking day.
Having my ex-husband across from me and my small town enemy-turned-fake-fiancè to my left felt like a level of ridiculousness I wasn’t prepared for.
“Oh my god, look. Another man who’s threatened by a color because he thinks it's girly. God forbid you ever stray outside of the misogynistic, asinine box you’ve built for yourself.”
“Love of my life, creature spawned from hell to torture me, woman who literally tased me the first time we met—either come inside and sit on the couch like a good girl, or leave.”
“Do you have plans today?” “No. Hunter, for god's sake. My plan is to fuck you.”
